Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Choices were made, hard hot choices


In my Top Ten Pet Peeves


Yes, there are still tickets for the Express Bus


The Great Sammich Crisis of 2015


stolen shamelessly from Sconsin Rick's Facebook page.

How to make bikinis disappear

I remember (sort of) doing something like this in college. Now I'm looking at the 4th of July watermelon and thinking.....



When being a bitch was an artform






This is why "commando" is dangerous


And I mean every word.


Monday, June 29, 2015

Such pretty hair ~wink~


Keep your Oxford comma, give me the Shatner


Admit it, you did the Walken and Shatner voices.

Giving y'all ample notice

I'm in negotiations with wirecutter's mom for some prime baby pictures. She's been very sweet and understanding and finds my wirecutter memes to be spot on. I should have some good ones by his birthday next month.


Wirecutter: The Army Years

Yeah, he's told me a few of his Army stories.
I guess a Secretary of War has to start somewhere.


That's a pretty good tell


Zero thigh gap


Blogger Blowout Olympics

We really need to pick some place with a large body of water, mountains, trees, privacy and preferably 
some place for shooting events.


Dragon Leatherworks is helping Texans celebrate

We're halfway through the month, folks. Two weeks left to order your Valkyrie and show off your Texas Pride. Talk to the man, you can go as simple or fancy as you want. You might talk him into embossing a Lone Star with the III. You never know what the two of you can come up with. But the one thing you'll know for sure, you'll get a one-of-a-kind handcrafted work of art from a Patriot.

Support Patriot businesses, Fuck Obama.


From Dennis at Dragon Leatherworks:


Folks, what we're talking about is this:


A high-quality, custom work of art from a Patriot who knows his shit. There are so many options, so many different looks you can choose. From basic black to this stunner. And I imagine, if you don't want the Spartan Spear and III embossed, you can get something different. Like maybe a Lone Star.

But the point of this holster, aside from being breathtakingly beautiful, is it's pure functionality. You see, it IS a holster and it is designed to hold your 1911 securely (see wirecutter's reviews, he's smarter than I am about shit like that). It would look something like this:



Yeah, I know it's not fully seated in that pic. Dennis saw it and immediately called me, gave me a phone tutorial, and had me straightened out in no time. And that's something else about purchasing a Valkyrie holster from Dennis. You don't just get a beautiful, functional work of art from a master craftsman, you get the customer service of a man who truly cares about his customers. You don't get that from a mass produced holster.

But wait! There's more! I also purchased that beautiful 1911 .45 ACP from Dennis' Dragon's Hoard. Oh the wonders he has! And again, you don't get anonymous treatment, you get personal treatment. He'll go over the weapon you choose and make sure when you open the case and load it, you won't be disappointed.

So Texans, as we are about to reclaim another piece of our Right to Bear Arms, showcase your 2nd Amendment Right to Carry in a Dragon Leatherworks Valkyrie.

https://www.dlwtn.com/custom/valkyrie

Friday, June 26, 2015

The Sloth is my Spirit Animal


Texas Gov. Abbott's statement on SCOTUS gay marriage ruling

Governor Greg Abbott today released the following statement regarding the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage ruling:
“The Supreme Court has abandoned its role as an impartial judicial arbiter and has become an unelected nine-member legislature. Five Justices on the Supreme Court have imposed on the entire country their personal views on an issue that the Constitution and the Court’s previous decisions reserve to the people of the States.
“Despite the Supreme Court’s rulings, Texans’ fundamental right to religious liberty remains protected. No Texan is required by the Supreme Court’s decision to act contrary to his or her religious beliefs regarding marriage.
“The Texas Constitution guarantees that ‘[n]o human authority ought, in any case whatsoever, to control or interfere with the rights of conscience in matters of religion.’ The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution guarantees the free exercise of religion; and the Texas Religious Freedom Restoration Act, combined with the newly enacted Pastor Protection Act, provide robust legal protections to Texans whose faith commands them to adhere to the traditional understanding of marriage.
“As I have done in the past, I will continue to defend the religious liberties of all Texans—including those whose conscience dictates that marriage is only the union of one man and one woman. Later today, I will be issuing a directive to state agencies instructing them to prioritize the protection of Texans’ religious liberties.”

Battle of the ACLU Stars

In this corner, we have wealthy urban gay couple, Blake and Tod.

Not really Blake and Tod. I don't know who these dudes are.
Could be straight as a donkey's dick.
All I know is NEVER google "happy gay couple".

In this corner we have lower middle class 
African American Muslim bakers, Yusef and Mullala.

Again, not Yusef and Mullala. Don't even know if they're bakers,
But interestingly enough, "African American Muslim couples"
brought up a LOT of pics of the Obamas.
Just sayin'.

The young lovers want Yusef and Mullala to bake them a wedding cake for their FABULOUS spring wedding. The bakers decline on grounds of religious belief against homosexuality in general. 

Who wins and why? 
Enter your arguments before the Supreme Court in the comments.


When they start digging up bodies

Our country has jumped the shark. We've gone from obsessing over a piece of cloth to the full blown assault on history and culture of the Southern states. This man, Memphis Mayor A.C. Wharton:


wants to dig up the bodies of these people:

because he's offended by them, their lives, their choices in a time far removed. It's not enough to purge flags, toys, tv shows, movies, books (run Mark Twain, RUN!), but now we're talking about tearing down monuments and digging up the dead.

I swear, the Zombie Apocalypse is going to start when the souls of the Confederate dead rise up against the Liberals and Race baiters who are Hell bent on erasing them from history. Of course, it'll be short-lived since zombies feed on brains and Liberals are woefully short on that commodity.

If you want the whole shit on this, go HERE.



The only Che t-shirt I'd ever buy


Thursday, June 25, 2015

The Wolfpack Rides

So, Anya, John and the girls are headed South tomorrow morning. With the donation of free hotel rooms, I convinced them to take it slow, lots of breaks, hit the hotel pool with the girls, and try to make some vacation memories. Plenty of stress and challenges await them at the end of the road, take time to enjoy the trip there. They'll be stopping in Frankfort KY, Forrest City AR, and Texarkana TX, lots to see and do and enjoy.

Please keep them in your prayers for a safe and enjoyable journey.

I can get behind this


20 hours 29 minutes



"Mom, why don't I have any friends?"


"Hush dear, and eat your tofurkey and gluten-free, vegan stuffing."


She's probably also allergic to peanuts and fun,


Because, you know, racism or something


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

RIP General Lee



Let's see 'em make Kentucky bourbon racist


Yet people keep lining up for free shit


A woman's answer to "camel toes"

Behold! The Hamm Bone!


Oh yeah, we look too.

Oooooo! WANTWANTWANTWANTWANT!!!!!



Perfect

Quite possibly the only piece of furniture I would ever need.


A couple of small modifications.
Square the sides and back.
Refrigerator in one side.
Snacks in other.
Pop-up bar on the back side.

Soon to be adopted by all Southern states


I need a stunt adult today

It became painfully apparent at 5 am 
that I'm simply not going to be able to 
fulfill my obligations as an adult today. 
Please send in my Adult Double.


Monday, June 22, 2015

The power of an armed citizenry


Back in the day


When I went to school, we had the option to take "electives" including Home Economics (cooking, sewing, budgeting, finances, etc.), auto mechanics (basics of car maintenance), building trades (seriously, if you own a home, you need this), agriculture (care and processing of farm animals and crops). We were all encouraged to take advantage of "real life education". I took a semester of auto mechanics, a semester of building trades and a semester of home ec. I can do most auto repairs, run basic wiring and plumbing, replace lighting and plumbing fixtures, frame, drywall, cook, can, budget,  and figure taxes (I've never paid to have my taxes done and I've never been audited...yet.) 

While I had a pretty well-rounded high school education, most of the credit goes to my folks. Mom and Poppy never discouraged me from seeking knowledge, especially if it was useful. And much of my practical education came from my parents and grandmas. I've told the story of my first car, I worked years of odd jobs and saved every penny I earned. I paid $2500 cash for my 1965 Mustang. And Poppy took the keys until we went over every inch of it, engine and transmission, and he was satisfied I knew how to take care of it. I rotated my own tires, changed my own oil, belts and hoses. I still do all of my own vehicle maintenance.

Every house I lived in growing up was a "handyman special". We were very very low income blue collar, but always owned instead of rented. The first house was purchased from an old farmer for $1000 cash and a $10,000 builder's loan. Two bedroom, one bath, less than 1000 sq ft. Poppy later added a master suite, increasing the square footage to 1200. Total investment was $35,000, they sold it a few years ago after 20 years of being rental property for $98,000. I was too young to do much on that one but fetch tools and carry trash, but the next one was different. The home they're still living in was housing for various fauna out in an old wheat field. Birds nested in the kitchen cabinets and there was animal poop everywhere. When Poppy took mom out to see it, she almost had him committed. Understand, he was working full time and going to college part time and wanting to move this house in next door and work on it in his "spare time". I was 12 when he bought it and 14 when we finally moved into it. This is the house where I got my training. I helped tear out walls, move walls, re frame, pull up flooring, lay flooring, hang drywall, mud and tape and texture, paint and wallpaper, hang cabinets, install plumbing and electrical, pull wires, blow insulation.... every time I walk into that house, I can see something I helped build. I love that house. Two years after he retired, Poppy drew up plans, got a permit, and proceeded to build mom's fantasy master suite, 1000 square feet of luxury and solitude. He finished it in 6 months. She still smiles every time she walks into it. This house, total investment of $60,000, was appraised last year at $148,000. As an adult, I've always owned, never rented, and always homes that I could easily afford and work on to make better. I bless my parents for that part of my education.

Shortly after I graduated, the shift started. College prep was the only field of study promoted, and all the other programs were eventually eliminated from the budget. Lack of interest? Lack of promotion? I'm not sure, but suddenly students were expected to study for two goals: passing standardized tests and going to college. A college education was the end-all and be-all. What was forgotten were all the students who weren't interested in college; whose talents and interests fell elsewhere. For 30 years, a whole segment of society was ignored as Higher Education was shoved down every student's throat. Now we see the damage, the education bubble is about to burst, we have a couple of generations of high-debt, educated people with no skills, and a dearth of skilled workers. God bless Mike Rowe for bringing the sexy back to the skilled trades. We're slowly seeing a shift in the popularity of trade schools and apprenticeships, although high schools are still woefully under serving young people who aren't interested in a BS in Disgruntled Minority Feminine-ish Studies at an overpriced university. Hopefully, when the education bubble bursts, things will change.

In the meantime, Young People of America, if you're waking up to the reality that your practical education has been taken from you in exchange for a mountain of debt and a useless degree, look around you. Find one of us older Americans who you used to mock for being uneducated and unenlightened. If you ask nicely, maybe apologize for being a Liberal twunt, we can share all sorts of amazingly useful skills and information with you. And we might even slip in a much needed lesson in  self-reliance, Liberty and the U. S. Constitution. You'd be amazed at what you don't know.

#6 explains a lot


Why I still carry a red grading pen