For doubletroubletwo and all of you other spider wussies out there....
Personally, I like to catch the little arachnids in a tissue and squeeze 'til I feel their exoskeleton crack and their guts squish out. But I'm hard core...
Screw that, I'm positively terrified of spiders. Zombies I could probably handle, if we were ever plagued by mutant giant spiders I would crawl into a corner, curl up in a ball and cry myself to death.
Just the other day I was trying to figure out what caused me to be terrified of spiders. I have no recollection of any early childhood trauma involving spiders, and the fear has been there as long as I can remember.
I concluded it's something that must be hardwired into some peoples dna.
And I would gladly pay any price, I am that terrified of those God-awful things. True story: when my wife and I were in our first place, I was talking on the phone and looking up something online. Wife was digging for something in the closet, when she came out I heard "Um, baby, look at your pillow". I look over and see a wolf spider about the size of my hand sitting there. Suddenly I'm standing in the living room, keyboard in one hand and phone in the other, cords dangling from both, and I never realized I'd even moved.
I only kill in self-defense or when they build webs in doorways and make me do the spas-out web dance. If I dance through the yard, arms and legs flailing, looking like an idiot, all bets are off and they're going down.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
ReplyDeleteOh no! Not you too!
DeleteNo. I just like screaming like a little girl.
DeleteThere are other things that really REALLY bother me, though.
And those would be.....?
DeleteThe items that really bother me that I have not listed here. That's what they would be.
Delete:-P
Screw that, I'm positively terrified of spiders. Zombies I could probably handle, if we were ever plagued by mutant giant spiders I would crawl into a corner, curl up in a ball and cry myself to death.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, honey, I'll rescue all you little spider wussies. But you'll owe me; oh yes, you WILL owe me... Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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ReplyDeleteJust the other day I was trying to figure out what caused me to be terrified of spiders. I have no recollection of any early childhood trauma involving spiders, and the fear has been there as long as I can remember.
ReplyDeleteI concluded it's something that must be hardwired into some peoples dna.
I am seriously horrified by them!.
No other fears, just that.
My dad taught me not to fear anything that can die. But dolls freak me the hell out. Especially those life-like baby dolls. Ewwwwww..
DeleteAnd I would gladly pay any price, I am that terrified of those God-awful things. True story: when my wife and I were in our first place, I was talking on the phone and looking up something online. Wife was digging for something in the closet, when she came out I heard "Um, baby, look at your pillow". I look over and see a wolf spider about the size of my hand sitting there. Suddenly I'm standing in the living room, keyboard in one hand and phone in the other, cords dangling from both, and I never realized I'd even moved.
ReplyDeleteBWWWAAAAAHHHAAAAA
DeleteNot afraid of alot but spiders are my weakness .... :)
ReplyDeleteI leave them alone. They eat bugs!
ReplyDeleteI love orb weavers (garden spiders) and jumping spiders. Wolf spiders are ugly but harmless. The only spider I would kill is the Brown Recluse.
ReplyDeleteI only kill in self-defense or when they build webs in doorways and make me do the spas-out web dance. If I dance through the yard, arms and legs flailing, looking like an idiot, all bets are off and they're going down.
Delete