Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Ack! pllbbbbtttt!

Okay, I have seriously slacked off on the workouts, diet and pretty much anything that has to do with health and fitness. As I was shoveling blackened chicken fettuccine Alfredo into my mouth last night, I glanced over at the elliptical monster and realized the little spider spinning a web between its arms was the only one getting a workout. 

Jeans are feeling a bit snug this morning. I could blame it on PMS bloating, but I'm pretty sure you dudes don't want to hear that, right? So I'll blame it on the four 32 oz. Cokes, the can of Pringles, the pan of Rice Crispie treats, the evening cocktails, the late night Blueberry Pop-Tarts.... hmmmm, did I miss anything? Oh yeah, the impromptu box of Valentine's chocolates. I think that's it. No wait, the swing through McD's yesterday and a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream. What, me stressed? Naw, perish the thought.

I didn't fall off the wagon, I dove off doing a triple gainer with a full twist. I am somewhat ashamed. Truly.

So today, I'm going to be a good girl. I had an egg white omelet with veggies, a bowl of Muesli (which I'm pretty sure is Swedish for "mulch") and a glass of grapefruit juice. Mmmmm. yummy. Mid-morning snack is going to be a NutraBlast smoothie of mixed dark berries and raw yogurt with chia seeds. Lunch, I guess chicken and spinach wraps. and dinner? Spicy sausage and lentil soup. I'm actually looking forward to the soup, it is one of my most popular creations. And it will clean you out with a vengeance. Just sayin'.

And I promise, with all that's in my fluffy little body, that I will work out tonight. I will. I promise. Someone's got to piss off the spiders.

Oh, and tomorrow, I'm going to shake things up a bit with a trip to the indoor rock-climbing arena. Nothing like a super tight climbing harness to emphasize one's derriere.
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16 comments:

  1. crankyjohnJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    Muesli? Isn't that the stuff that goes in like mulch and comes out like barbed wire?

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  2. idahobobJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:25 AM

    Needed a little food therapy did you?

    Bob
    III

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  3. hiswiserangelJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:35 AM

    Yep, crankyjohn, that's the Muesli. Although, I would use the word "shrapnel" rather than barbed wire.

    ~sigh~ yeah, Bob, I self-medicated with carbs and fat. Lots of them.

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  4. crankyjohnJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:38 AM

    I tried that stuff once, could not sit down for a week.

    ReplyDelete
  5. hiswiserangelJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:41 AM

    Heh, what will be pleasant is the spicy jalapeno sausage and lentil soup that follows it.

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  6. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:43 AM

    check out Primal Blueprint. eat all the healthy saturated fat you want. carbs/grains/starch are what make one fat and sick

    cb in vt

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  7. hiswiserangelJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:51 AM

    Thanks, cb, I'll check it out. I'm definitely a meat eater, but my weakness is carbs. It takes me forever to kick them, and one donut to backslide.

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  8. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2013 at 7:57 AM

    yeah, I used to love my oatmeal cookies! 40 days, then you'll never miss 'em. Also you'll never feel groggy after a carb heavy meal again. Be sure to check the "success stories" at the link below. motivating. Also new paradigm on your workouts. Lose the chronic cardio, change to sprints, "lift heavy things"

    good luck

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/category/success-story-summaries/#axzz2JICbWbJC

    cb in vt

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  9. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2013 at 8:44 AM

    I do a grapefruit diet. Need to get back on it lol works wonders though :)

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  10. timboJanuary 29, 2013 at 8:47 AM

    Carbs are a super powerful addictive thing. It took me years to kill the craving after concluding that large amounts were bad for my health. Now I eat meat and vegetables almost exclusively. Yeah I eat ice cream, or the odd chocolate bar, but over all, better discipline than ever.

    My Mom and sister were lifelong dieters. It is very unhealthy to live like that. Pattern: Feel shame and guilt, eat a very strict diet, lose weight. Get depressed or pissed about something, eat until big. REPEAT

    That behavior is bad psychologically, and physically.

    Just gradually reduce the bad intake and increase the good intake, reasonably, and you can become healthier over time. It will also train your children to eat healthy when they are independent.

    Lecture over!

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  11. crankyjohnJanuary 29, 2013 at 8:53 AM

    You people are making me feel like a fat fuck.

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  12. hiswiserangelJanuary 29, 2013 at 8:54 AM

    Thanks, timbo. :-) I usually do things in moderation, but not carbs. It's my crack. I can't even be in the same room with bread. I've started substituting with the Yoplait Light yogurts in Boston Creme Pie (yum) and Strawberry Cheesecake (double yum).

    And I need to do a study on the smell of leather as an appetite suppressant. I swear I haven't taken my nose out of this holster all morning.

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  13. hiswiserangelJanuary 29, 2013 at 8:56 AM

    cranky, if I post a pic of my big ass in the climbing harness, will it make you feel better?

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  14. crankyjohnJanuary 29, 2013 at 8:59 AM

    As long as you don't show yout big girl panties.

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  15. PaladinJanuary 29, 2013 at 10:31 AM

    I have my food weaknesses too. Pretty much anything moving slow enough to catch.

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  16. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2013 at 3:36 PM

    Do you have excel? I did some experimenting with paleo type diets. Bottom line ....they work. I kept a bit of a diary and if you want I will send it to you. Primal Blueprint and Mark's Daily Apple are good sources for paleo stuff. Daily Apple is free plus there are some good paleo cookbooks out there.

    Let me know if you want the spreadsheet and I will PM you with the info.

    hbbill
    Somewhere behind enemy lines,
    Peoples Republik of Kalifornistan







    ReplyDelete

Play nice. None of you are too old for a spanking.