Tuesday, April 9, 2013

With complete apologies to MissK

 
And all the whiny fucking twatwaffles at the
Canadian Embassy in Los Angeles.
 
Yeah, soooooo....
 
Hubby is a Hazmat driver for CP. The kind people that make and deliver the shit that makes natural gas stink. And one of his regular routes is Canada. All the bum-fuck over Canada, east to west. In his first year, he made 7 deliveries without incident. But then he has a delivery to St. John, New Brunswick, Canada. MissK's country. And because the dispatcher didn't have his paperwork in order, they get stopped at the border for a little butt search and FBI background check. And that's where my nightmare begins.
 
He comes home, after three harrowing days in a Marriott in Maine waiting for his partner to finish the delivery, and hands me an Application for Approval of Rehabilitation and tells me "This needs to be taken care of .....YESTERDAY." Well, fuck me. So I sit down with this thing after hearing his side
"I didn't do or say anything to piss them off, they just hate me" to read what needs to happen to get his ass back on the road. It seems after completing the form including info on his addresses and jobs since the age of 18 (the boy is 45); obtaining criminal clearances from the FBI, the State of Texas, the State of New Mexico, and every town he's lived in WITH digital fingerprint cards for each  for a total of $385 in fees, and submitting a "processing fee" of $250 Canadian to the consulate in Los Angeles, he MIGHT be considered rehabilitated enough to be allowed to cross the precious Canadian border.
 
Guess that public intoxication in 1987 and the DUI plead down to reckless operation of a motor vehicle in 1999 put hubby on the top of Canada's Most Wanted. And yet, Habib and his 13 Muslim relatives and 23 goats are welcomed by the Canadian government with open arms. Yeah, so that's what I've been doing for the last two days. So, sorry MissK, but FUCK CANADA.
at

18 comments:

  1. UnknownApril 9, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    Twatwaffles?

    Just when ya think ya heard everything...

    ReplyDelete
  2. crankyjohnApril 9, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    Twatwaffle, thats canadian for kerfuffle.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 9, 2013 at 2:09 PM

    Ouch! So sorry you're having to deal with this PITA BS. I hope everything else with this gets resolved smoothly.

    -Concerned Mama

    ReplyDelete
  4. EvanoApril 9, 2013 at 2:12 PM

    Err, I know that it's the American in you coming out, but...that's not a Canada Goose...

    ReplyDelete
  5. hiswiserangelApril 9, 2013 at 2:15 PM

    Evano, with all the love in my heart, fuck you too. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousApril 9, 2013 at 2:17 PM

    Makes one giddy with schoolgirl anticipation of the fun and games that Obongocare is going to be like....

    And I thought getting a TS/SCI clearance was a bitch

    ReplyDelete
  7. crankyjohnApril 9, 2013 at 2:25 PM

    And yet on our southern border here with Mexico, we have a barbarian invasion of Huns and nobody seems to give a shit.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MissKApril 9, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    No need to apologize Angel. It's me who needs to apologize... on the behave of my Country and all the fucking IDIOTS!!! you're having to deal with :(

    ReplyDelete
  9. hiswiserangelApril 9, 2013 at 3:02 PM

    Thanks MissK, and in all fairness, these Canadians are also, by default, Los Angeloonies.

    ReplyDelete
  10. crankyjohnApril 9, 2013 at 3:20 PM

    Damn! Was hoping for a cat fight. Hair pulling, torn clothing......

    ReplyDelete
  11. hiswiserangelApril 9, 2013 at 3:22 PM

    crank! Go sit in the naughty corner with PISSED.

    ReplyDelete
  12. timboApril 9, 2013 at 3:25 PM

    Having residences in both countries for a large part of my life, I would just like you to know that customs and immigration officials behave exactly the same in Canada and the U.S.. You are aware that the United States will not allow Canadians with a DUI conviction to enter, aren't you?

    I hear such stories on a regular basis. The part I find most bizarre concerning Canadians heading south, is they are screened heavily, while the Mexican border is wide open!

    Reality is they are bureaucrats flexing their puny muscles - on both sides!

    ReplyDelete
  13. UnknownApril 9, 2013 at 3:35 PM

    I grew up 15 miles from Canada. Their drinking age was 18, ours was 21. Buddies and I crossed the border at least twice a week for years, not particularly sober most times. Hardly ever got asked for so much as an ID. They'd ask if we were bringing anything across, we'd tell them what we were up to and be on our way. Twenty-some years changes things, it seems.

    ReplyDelete
  14. James ButlerApril 9, 2013 at 5:54 PM

    WOw... sorry to hear about your troubles, Angel... that sucks...
    But I'm with Timbo, Canadian and American Costumes and immigration officials on the Northern border are of the same cloth... Heck in most cases they hang with and know each other...
    This was all bureaucratic muscle flexing...

    ReplyDelete
  15. hiswiserangelApril 9, 2013 at 5:56 PM

    Yeah, well I stand by my original statement.
    Whiny. Little. Twatwaffles.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousApril 9, 2013 at 6:10 PM

    Lets hurt those Canadians economically, quit importing their whisky, and no more exporting good Texas beef to them.

    ReplyDelete
  17. wirecutterApril 9, 2013 at 8:05 PM

    At least it was Canadian Dollars instead of American.
    You should've said something - I got a whole jar of Canadian pennies Hari the Hindu keeps slipping me at his Stop-n-Rob.

    ReplyDelete
  18. LeighApril 11, 2013 at 4:13 AM

    Same thing happened to my wife's brother-in-law when they wanted to go to the zoo in Monteal. Wouldn't even let them into the country; for something that happened 20 years earlier...once!

    A little humor to go with the rant....
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bOR38552MJA#!


    Leigh

    ReplyDelete

Play nice. None of you are too old for a spanking.