Monday, June 3, 2013

A lithe and nimble tongue

Today took an abrubt left turn right into the crapper, won't bore you with details, but I tangled with the Teen Queen in full melt-down in the back of the grandparents' minivan. Nowhere to run to baby, nowhere to hide...

Anywhoo, been melting into some Tramadol and some sort of muscle relaxer I found in the cabinet. Wirecutter will tell you, I'm a tenderfoot and Tylenol knocks me out. But so far, one black eye, cut bridge of nose, assorted scratches and bruises and generally sore pulled muscles. But I got her calmed down, and when she "returned", she was very sorry.

But sitting here, nursing my wounds and enjoying my buzz, I indulged in a bowl of cherries, because you know, that's what life is. And son of a gun, I've still got it. This first one took about 10 minutes and I mangled the son of a bitch....


But THIS ONE, this is perfection. Under a minute, clean and pretty. Damn girl, old and tired and beat up, but my tongue is as limber as a Romanian gymnast.

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13 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 3, 2013 at 6:43 PM

    I would highly suggest you go to bed and quit posting

    ReplyDelete
  2. hiswiserangelJune 3, 2013 at 6:44 PM

    Party pooper. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. millerizedJune 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM

    Minutes? Seriously?
    10-15 seconds at most. 20 seconds and the knot is tight enough you can't see through it.
    And, yes, my missus pays me VERY well for that skill.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hiswiserangelJune 3, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    Well darlin', I didn't think men wanted it tied in a knot tight enough you can't see through it, but heck your kink, your choice.

    And that second was WELL under a minute, didn't exactly have a stopwatch. Tell you what, we ever get together, we'll have a good old-fashioned Stem Off and see who's the best. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. millerizedJune 3, 2013 at 7:28 PM

    Yup. Sounds like a stem-off it is. I'll try to get the missus not to wear it out. Last time I had it in a cast....:-)

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  6. hiswiserangelJune 3, 2013 at 7:29 PM

    You sure it wasn't from trash talking, millerized? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Angel eyesJune 3, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    Screw the cherry stem, how the Hell are you? Damn.
    Well my kid wars (two boys) got me a broken nose and assorted other bumps and shit. You're not alone.
    They pretty much have their chit together now.

    ReplyDelete
  8. hiswiserangelJune 3, 2013 at 7:34 PM

    I'll heal, I'm tough as an old Army boot. The thing that hurts the most is my nose. But I got beat up worse than this growing up with an older brother.

    Technically, the girls will never have their chit together, it's up to me to have it together for them and I dropped the ball today. I think it was a "teachable moment".

    But, rpm, you aren't impressed with the cherry stem? *pout*

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  9. Angel eyesJune 3, 2013 at 7:48 PM

    I need to see a live demo, baby...

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  10. hiswiserangelJune 3, 2013 at 8:16 PM

    Oh, of course. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Angel eyesJune 3, 2013 at 8:53 PM

    I'm reading Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. This quote made me think of you.
    "When he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold"
    -Job

    ReplyDelete
  12. hiswiserangelJune 3, 2013 at 8:57 PM

    rpm, a little light reading before bed? I really like that quote. Don't feel like gold right now, but I do appreciate the compliment. Tucking myself into bed, sweet dreams darlin'.

    ReplyDelete
  13. VolframJune 4, 2013 at 7:36 AM

    Man... I can't even blow bubbles in bubblegum, how am I supposed to pull off something I can barely do with my FINGERS?

    Never understood the appeal of kissing either, honestly.

    ReplyDelete

Play nice. None of you are too old for a spanking.