Last week took the starch out of my knickers and knocked me on my ass. The older I get, the harder it is to bounce back and exhaustion is a bitch. Earlier today, I was sitting with my laptop, looking at a blank blog post with no idea of what to say or post. And I burst into those irrational tears men love so much. I'm sitting there sobbing in exhaustion, and Grand pops in to check on me. I mentioned the shit I'dbeen through and that I couldn't focus, and he made the very sweet gesture to post an apology for me and sent me to bed.
I posted the comments that came in before crashing, but I couldn't shake two uncomfortable feelings. One, it felt like a batshit crazy plea for attention. I hate when I do that. I try to keep my BSC off the blog as much as possible. Second, and probably the biggest, was a comment (joke) about wirecutter. We all know wc is tough and can take anything anybody cares to dish out. We also know he would be the last person in the world to tell someone to pull a post or apologize. He's about the biggest champion of personal freedoms I know. And while Grand is a good friend, wc is my Blogfather. My big brother. Someone I consider not just a friend, but family.
So in fitful bouts of sleep that bordered coma, I wrestled with "leave it or take it down". Risk offending a good friend who tried to do something nice or another good friend who holds a special place in my heart. I decided to take it down. Not for wirecutter, but for me. Still don't know if it's a good choice, or if it even matters to anyone but me.
I do thank Grand for the sweet supportive gesture. And everyone who commented wishes and support. And this is hopefully the last leakage of batshit crazy for a while. Carry on.
Sometimes ya gotta blow your stack!
ReplyDeleteMy Dad's saying, RIP.
Do what feels right to you.
And no, we don't like those tears because they get our fave-o-rite t-shirts all wet when we holds ya close!
We love you here in California.
Thanks rpm, love ya back.
ReplyDeleteI just hate hurting anyone or making anyone mad. I drive myself nuts over it sometimes. Kind of need to stop that, huh?
We know you're kind hearted. A person can be their own worst enemy. Look around you, is the world burning because of one post?
ReplyDeleteAnd we all know deep inside that Ken kinda likes the attention...
I kind of felt like I should have starred in a Snickers commercial today. Again, thanks rpm.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that whatever you said about WC will be forgiven. He seems like that kind of a guy. I wouldn't mind having him as a friend.
ReplyDeleteEverybody has their "throw hands in the air and just say EFF IT" moment. Post it, don't post it...its your blog, and nobody who reads on a semi-regular basis would EVER confuse you as one of those "BSC look at poor me" dainty and delicate flowers who can't handle the real world.
ReplyDeleteGee, I have always been somewhat fond of "batshit crazy"
ReplyDelete