Advices from An Old Farmer
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.
All of the stuff I worry about IS going to happen. I worry that I won't be prepared when GODs word and work is fulfilled. So much for Contrary wisdom.
ReplyDelete"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God."
ReplyDeleteAmen Angel
Regards,
Bullwinkle
My "Never List"
ReplyDeleteNever date a woman who:
... belongs to more than one 12-step program.
... buys cranberry juice by the case.
... reads Lovecraft "for fun."
... thinks leather is a lifestyle not a fashion statement.
... treats Prozac like a salt lick.
... owns more than one Alanis Morissette album.
There were other but I can't remember them. In deference to our hostess I did not list my rules regarding Redheads.
I appreciate that, Stretch, I don't feeling like banning anyone tonight. ;-)What's Lovecraft?
ReplyDeleteJust imagine how quickly most of our problems would fade into nothingness if we would all simply return to those basics of common sense...
ReplyDeleteI would consider Lovecraft to be "fun." If you don't believe me, check out the tale of Old Man Henderson.(Is Henderson your first name or your last name?)
ReplyDeleteI don't order other peoples' dogs around more because I don't want to threaten the dog's master's authority. That would be rude, regardless of whether the animal listens or not.
Finally, the solution to #9 is to be meaner than everything else. Or at least willing to be.
The world would be a much better place if everyone followed the very simple rules.
ReplyDeleteH.P. Lovecraft wrote horror stories back in the early part of the 20th century. Of course, "horror" back then was totally different from what it is today, but his stories (mostly magazine-length shorts) are awesome reads all the same. He's dark, twisted, an avowed atheist, and I believe he was instrumental in the rise of the "Cthulu" myth. Still, very good reading if you're in a dark mood.
ReplyDelete"Call of Cthulu" in PDF if you're so inclined. Just over 20 pages and a pretty quick read.
ReplyDeletehttp://magnus.gustavsson.se/pdf/cthulhu.pdf
Rabid, I'm fairly certain Lovecraft CREATED the Cthulhu myth. By extension, while it didn't show up until nearly a century after most of his works, the Slenderman bears a lot of his fingerprints.
ReplyDeleteI don't find most of Lovecraft's works particularly frightening these days, but they're good literature. Particularly recommend Pickmin's Model, and The Thing On The Doorstep.