Where do I start?

We all know this last week has been, um, challenging for me. I'm usually a very nice person, easy going, not demanding, eager to please, a real sweetheart. But even nice people can be pushed too far.

Remember I mentioned Craigslist and how it gave me a few moments of peace the other morning? Yeah, about that.

SFB found a 1985 Chevrolet one-ton crew cab TOW FUCKING TRUCK that he just had to have because it was "cooler than shit", "only $3000" and it'd make "an awesome family vehicle"! Okie dokie, knock yourself out. But wait, there's more. It's NOT in Amarillo like he said (I still don't know what he was doing in Amarillo for 5 hours, I operate a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy), it's in Lubbock. Two and a half hours away. I had plans to spend yesterday morning with a friend who's mom just had a heart attack and was in CCU; his counterplan was to take him to Lubbock while the chicks were in school and get back in time to pick them up. Screw my friend. I put my foot down on that one. So the plan evolved to spend the morning in Amarillo, pick up the chicks and head to Lubbock.

Now keep in mind, we are going to pick up a TOW FUCKING TRUCK. What do tow trucks do? Why, they tow other vehicles. And why couldn't he drive himself, hookup his pickup to the tow truck and drive them both home? Well.....

Anyway, I get all the shit together that is needed for a day trip with the chicks. Snacks, drinks, meds, straightjackets, videos....and we head out. Three hours there with copious promises of McD's for dinner. Sat for an hour while he kicked tires and checked it out thoroughly and haggled. He finally came to an agreement and we get the paperwork signed and start the convoy back. It's at this point that I realize said truck has some issues. Like, "not legal" issues. No tags or inspection. Tail lights working when they feel like it. Those kinds of issues. And he's made the decision to take back roads, which adds another hour to the drive home. The girls are munching their McD's, watching The Lion King, and I'm muttering under my breath that he can hakuna my lily white matata. So a grand total of 7 hours in the momvan with two autistic kids to purchase an illegal 1985 Chevy one ton crew cab TOW FUCKING TRUCK. Because the guys at work think it's cooler than shit.

"Hey, you know what you should do? Nominate me for Overhaulin'! They'd eat this shit up."

"Bang. BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG. Click."