Don't Give Up on Me

The below song was written by the mother-daughter duo, Viga and Victoria Boland, to support autism awareness and research. It rings very true. I can't tell you how hard I fought to hang on to the slender bonds between the Cute Chicks and me, how much time went into getting them used to human touch just so I could hug them. Teen Queen allows hugs, and will even hug back, but you'd better let go on her cue. Baby Queen allows hugs and an occasional kiss, but she doesn't understand hugging back. Even if you put her arms around you, she'll drop them when you let them go. We developed a minimalist public display of affection based on something Lucy van Pelt told Schroeder, "A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection." Both of them love to beep the noses of people they love and accept into their worlds. If you get beeped, you've been accepted.

There are times when TQ has a meltdown, horrific, violent, painful to watch. You just have to ride it out with her until the adrenaline recedes and she comes back. And when she does, she's so sorry and guilty it breaks your heart all over again. All you can do is hold her and reassure her while she cries. And there are times when BQ comes to me, and she has this intense look in her eyes, makes direct eye contact, and you can see her mouth working trying to form the words that just won't come. Trying so hard to communicate what's in her head and heart in the way she sees others use, but it just eludes her. She'll hang her head in frustration and sometimes, if it's really bad, start banging her head with her forearm. We've come so far with the iPod and Autism Speaks apps, I hope someday to hear every last thought she wants to share. But we're not there yet.

Fair warning, I may be a little more sensitive, but I'm still sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks. But then again, they're my special Angels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXT2DTke0Ww