Tuesday, May 6, 2014

It's mine now, bitches!

I'm sorry, but how stupid are people getting? The couple who found the gold stash and blabbed to everybody ended up losing it all. Find a buttload of gold with no "If found, return to..." sticker? Shut the fuck up about it.  UPS sends you, entirely by mistake, a $400K secret government drone and tells you it's not their problem? Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

"What drone? I didn't order a drone."
"It was delivered to you by mistake."
"I didn't get any drone, I don't know what you're talking about."
"We know it was delivered to this address."
"Well, I can guarantee you there isn't a secret government drone anywhere on this property."
"May we search?"
"No."

See how easy that is? Go back to the Golden Rule of Childhood. Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers.

It's mine now, motherfuckers!


See the whole DUMBASS story Here.
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4 comments:

  1. Angel eyesMay 6, 2014 at 5:21 PM

    I would have put it in the attic with all of the other "this'll come in handy some day" stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  2. jesse in dcMay 6, 2014 at 5:45 PM

    Use the 3 S's Shoot shovel and shaddup. Modify to fit the circumstances...

    ReplyDelete
  3. StretchMay 6, 2014 at 6:48 PM

    Depending on range I'd launch it from one of the rest area on GW Parkway.
    From there? Hell, I'd have LOTS of fun. Throw the controls into the Potomac and then hit the brew pub to watch the Live At Five news cast.

    ReplyDelete
  4. VolframMay 7, 2014 at 9:03 PM

    Actually, this guy's a genius.

    Since he announced it, he's been getting requests and demands from EVERYWHERE. He honestly can't tell which ones might be legit and which ones are fraudulent, and he certainly can't turn it over to just anybody who shows up at his place with a suit and a badge. Badge might also be a forgery.

    Prove you're legit, sucker. It's my responsibility as an American citizen to keep this thing out of the wrong hands.

    ReplyDelete

Play nice. None of you are too old for a spanking.