Something in me snapped this week. I don't know what or what the trigger was, but it was a sudden, "Fuck it, I'm done" moment of self-realization. I deactivated my Facebook and unplugged my computer. I wanted peace, from everything. It lasted, oh I don't know, a few hours.
Called to the school yesterday morning, Teen Queen and her girl posse were out on the running track walking when she was stung on the elbow by a bee. Almost 19 years old, outdoors 90% of that time, and she'd never been stung by a bee so we had no idea she was severely allergic. By the time I got to the school, the ambulance was about to leave for the ER. Her arm had swelled, but what really scared us was her mouth and throat swelled, blood pressure dropped and her pulse was racing. So I fell in line behind them and we headed to Amarillo. Did I mention she's been wearing her Prom tiara to school all week? Yeah, my last view of her was gasping for air with that damn tiara sparkling on her head.
They had her stabilized in the ambulance, but they were trying to get her BP and heart rate stabilized before releasing her. It seems if you give something to slow down heart rate it negatively affects BP and vice versa. I don't know, all I was able to handle was reassuring TQ that the Prom was still a go. She's got a huge knot and bruise, about grapefruit size, on her arm this morning and she's terrified to go outside now. We were discharged with a supply of EpiPens in time to come home and get Baby Queen, who looked at her sister's arm and promptly poked it. Gotta love little sisters.
I'm still floating in a cloud of fuck it. I still have this little black cloud over my heart that I can't seem to shake. But all of that is secondary. I have to pull on my big girl panties, push my fears and doubts down into my dark closet of scary things, and focus. There are way more important things to deal with right now. Prom is in two days.
Bless you.
ReplyDeleteWe all have it a bit hard sometimes but when I'm failing you give me strength. I'm sending some back to you now.
Got faith in ya! And there are a lot of us out here if ya need us.
DeleteHang in there I'm glad the kiddo is OK and you weren't part of that N.Texas conflagration.
ReplyDeleteI was a little worried.
Much love and prayers sent your way. I wish I could send a bottle of alcohol and a chocolate bar through the comments here.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was close. Those frights with the kiddos always hit you hard. Hang in there, Angel.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, cutie. We all get a little burnt now and again. This too shall pass. As much as I enjoy your mind, you don't have to do this for us. But, I do request that if you got to give this up, you do it in style. Take care, be safe, and hug those girls.
ReplyDeleteI can empathize with your daughter. Very unpleasant those reactions. In my case it seems to be wasps, but not all of them. The ones I react to though, do a number on me. Drop me like a sack of flour.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of this girl, I have had a black cloud of friends and co workers with cancer these days, I'll pray for peace and understandeing for you.
ReplyDeleteReading your blog is a highlight in my otherwise tedious day. I hope she is well now.
ReplyDeleteAllergies are weird. Even the experts aren't certain. At one point when I was a teen, I became resistant to poison oak due to constant exposure. They say that the 11 doses of anti venom serum I received after the Crotalus oreganus bite, that I'm immune now. I'm not going to test that theory intentionly again. But I've been stung by bees since, and nothing much had happened. Hmm? Hell maybe I can play with rattlers again.
ReplyDeleteCrap - I hope your daughter is feeling better now. And I hope she has a great time at her prom.
ReplyDeleteThe good thing that came out of this - now you KNOW about her reaction to bee stings. You can have the materials on hand to take care of this. Imagine if this had happened at a place that had no quick medical facility - the outcome could have been worse.
Again - hope she is feeling better now. Bees don't give me problems so much - frickin' yellowjackets are a totally other story.
Hope TQ is doing better. If you need to talk Angel you know I'm here for you! ALWAYS!!! Hugs I need to see TQ prom pics.... :-)
ReplyDeleteI am happy she is doing better and that after that scare things are returning to normal. Hope you are feeling better and as you always say to me when I feel that way <>.
ReplyDeleteglad she's ok. hang in there.
ReplyDelete