Parental Update

My folks headed west Wednesday morning and didn't call to check in until 2 pm yesterday. That's 31 hours without hearing a word from my septaugenarian parents. I was panicking, full melt-down mode. Talked to the local police about issuing a Silver alert and was asked, "Are they disabled? Any mental issues? Any critical health issues?" I thought long and hard, and couldn't come up with anything other than they're getting up there in age, they're equipped with a GPS that may as well have come from an alien spaceship, and Poppy frequently gets lost and/or distracted coming home from McDonald's. I had to admit, no, they're fine, and settle for issuing a missing persons report if they didn't show up at my brother's house today. I'm glad I held back; Poppy would have skinned me alive if he'd driven into Spokane and seen their names on the DOT billboard under a Silver Alert. Instant death. 

But they called, had lost their phone as it tumbled out of the Black Hole that is mom's purse and lodged between her seat and the center console. They'd stopped at Walmart to buy a burner, and mom was digging for the sunshade when she found it. She called me immediately since there were 50 missed calls from me and my brother. All of my anger faded (you know that righteous Mommy anger when someone you love scares the shit out of you); I was so happy they were alive, I booked 'em into a Holiday Inn in Butte, MT. It pisses me off that they still short-change themselves. I don't know why they're still so reluctant to spend money; we've both told them that we aren't expecting an inheritance. They've got ample insurance to cover any debts. They need to see how close to zero they can get before dying. She told me they'd spent the first night in a dank, scary Motel 6 (someone had shot out Tom Bodett's light) for almost $70. We have almost 400K Holiday Inn points, we got them a king suite for $40 and a few little points. I made them a deal that I'd take care of all their lodging if they'd just try to call in now and then to let me know they're alive. I wasn't a bad kid, but I also wasn't real good about curfews and calling in when I'd be late. I think I'm paying for it now.

So, a few days at a cabin for fishing and general shenanigans, and then they'll head across Washington to some relatives on the Oregon coast. I've got 4 days of peace. And planning. I can safely put this here since Poppy isn't going to be reading the blog on the road; we've got two of their best friend couples lined up to meet them in Vegas. Three days of what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Please God, let it stay in Vegas...

I'm setting up a couple of shows for the group and a trip to Hoover Dam to take the dam tour. 

That will be Poppy at the back of the tour with a fishing pole. Gotta love that man.