The Wonder of Nature

There is a Squirrel Mafia, I'm a witness. I will probably have to close the blog and go into hiding after posting this. The truth must be told.

This afternoon, sitting outside enjoying the weather and waiting for the Cute Chicks to get home, I noticed Cletus the neighborhood bully cat was stalking something. Cletus is NOT a cute kitty, he's a mangy half cat/half demon from hell that will attack anyone or anything smaller or perceptibly weaker: small children, cats, dogs and the lowly squirrel. We're always finding mangled squirrel carcasses strewn about the neighborhood, victims of Clete.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a big squirrel fan. I think they're nothing more than rats with fluffy tails and good PR. They can be vicious, vindictive little bastards. When I was in college, the groundskeepers would try to humanely eradicate the furry little vermin from time to time, and they'd get meaner and more brazen in their attacks. One semester, you couldn't walk from Old Main to the Fine Arts building without a gang of them sitting in the oaks and chunking acorns at your head. I'm not a fan, trust me, but today I had to cheer.

Back to Cletus. He was stalking something in the neighbor's lilac bushes, and I had a feeling I was about to see the end of some poor squirrel. Sure enough, Squeaky ran flatout across the street and up the big elm in the neighbor's yard with Cletus hot on his heels.  Watching them disappear in the leaves and howling, I just waited for the finale. I was not disappointed. Just seconds later, Cletus fell from the tree covered in squirrels, probably five or six, and they were PISSED. He landed with a thump and a howl, jumped up and started trying to shake 'em off, but the Squirrel Mafia was dug in deep. Screeching, howling, chattering, fur flying, he took off down the street with them still attacking viciously. I sat there stunned, wondering what the hell, and then I burst out laughing. Still not a squirrel fan, but damn, that was fun.