Monday, September 28, 2015

Rules of Engagement

I need y'all's sage advice. Say, hypothetically, you've had a shitty weekend and a shittier Monday. And say, hypothetically, you came home from school pickup with a cranky teen and found that someone had left something on your doorstep, like this:


No note, nothing identifying the person who left it or why. Just a bottle of Jack Daniel's on your doorstep. My questions are:

1. How long do I have to wait to crack it open? 7-10 days to make sure the rightful owner doesn't claim it?
2. Do I have immediate rights of ownership since it was on my doorstep?
3. If the person who left it reads this, please get in touch with me for a thank you. And possibly a drink.



at

20 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 28, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    I would have poured a glass while I was writing the question.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jim22September 28, 2015 at 5:00 PM

    Crack it open. Smell the neck. If the contents smell OK take a taste - maybe a teaspoonful, no more. If you feel OK in the morning enjoy it. Two things:

    1. You may have made someone jealous. They might want you poisoned.

    2. If I lived on the altiplano I might put a bottle of Tennessee's finest on your doorstep but I would never identify myself because the missus reads your blog.

    Or you can worry about it. I don't think worrying is good for mental health. It's so female.

    ReplyDelete
  3. B September 28, 2015 at 5:17 PM

    Abandoned whiskey? Salvage rules are the rules of the day. Abandoned property and all that....

    As long as the seal isn't broken, pour a glass!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 28, 2015 at 5:53 PM

    I'm a suspicious one by nature.... and it's paid off. I would assume it's either poisoned, spiked by someone who wishes you ill or something like that.

    Exile1981

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownSeptember 28, 2015 at 6:00 PM

    Have someone else try it. If they don't get sick then enjoy

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 28, 2015 at 6:16 PM

    HMMM INTERESTING COINCEDENCE
    i found a full case of JD in the ditch at the end of my driveway
    today.. there was still a wet spot in the road from the one broken bottle...

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownSeptember 28, 2015 at 6:17 PM

    Make bourbon balls. Then you have an excuse.

    ReplyDelete
  8. pigpen51September 28, 2015 at 6:27 PM

    I believe in divine intervention. God obviously put that bottle there for you to drink to keep someone else from becoming an alcoholic, just like an intervention, sort of. So by drinking it, you are really doing someone a great service, being almost, as it were, an angel to them.

    How fortunate for them to have such a good friend as you in their life. Just remember, no driving after your good deed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. CritterSeptember 28, 2015 at 9:01 PM

    Finders, drinkers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. JCSeptember 28, 2015 at 9:02 PM

    Check with neighbors for recent deaths in the family

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousSeptember 28, 2015 at 9:25 PM

    Jack Daniel's Witnesses left their calling card.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Leigh in WhitehallSeptember 29, 2015 at 3:35 AM

    I'd be looking around for our Crazy Uncle Bubba, if I was you.
    Me thinks he be lurking around some where. ;-)

    Leigh
    Whitehall, NY

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousSeptember 29, 2015 at 4:16 AM

    Kerodin probably left it as a thank you for your donations.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bobo the HoboSeptember 29, 2015 at 7:49 AM

    Repeat after me: "For what we're about to receive, may the Lord make us truly grateful. Salute!"

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousSeptember 29, 2015 at 8:53 AM

    check thoroughly to be sure it has never been opened....then, possession is 9/10 of the law....
    and in return for such sage advice, you could offer me a drink(s)......


    vaquero viejo

    ReplyDelete
  16. VonZorchSeptember 29, 2015 at 2:16 PM

    If it was left on your doorstep it's yours.
    If the seals are all intact, have a drink, if not, it makes a great cleaning solution.

    ReplyDelete
  17. RebeccaSeptember 29, 2015 at 2:50 PM

    Well, no one else has said it so I will say it in absentia:...............You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousSeptember 29, 2015 at 4:44 PM

    Clearly this a gift and blessing from Saint Wirecutter the Innocent. Roscoe

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousSeptember 29, 2015 at 8:19 PM

    why are you still running the post after the JD is gone????

    vaquero viejo

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousSeptember 30, 2015 at 9:58 AM

    ...something about a 'gift horse' and all that. An ounce of common sense (as already noted about the seal) but good judgment (to me) says - drink up and bless the soul that left the gift. Lucky you ....
    Worker

    ReplyDelete

Play nice. None of you are too old for a spanking.