So yeah, I'm almost 50 and I'm slightly (cough, cough) overweight, but I'm still reasonably athletic and am containing a boiling cauldron of aggression needing an outlet. This could work. She remembers me from junior high and high school basketball where I was considered fierce and unrelenting under the basket. Granted, I'm not the fastest runner, and my lack of coordination affected dribbling and shooting, but jumping and slamming? Oh hell yeah. I was all knees and elbows, I could jump like a kangaroo (lower body strength from shot and discuss training), and I was fearless with a Celtic warrior's taste for blood and pain. I was sneaky as shit and an excellent actress so I drew more fouls than were called on me, and I'm pretty sure the only points I scored were free throws. In five years, I think I fouled out only a handful of times.
I owned the paint.
So imagine if you will, Avenging Angel on skates wreaking havoc and raining pain on the hapless opponents of the Route 66 Roller Derby. I'll let you know how tryouts go.
Do it! Show the cute chicks that Mama's still got it.
ReplyDeleteHot damn. Wirecutter was probably about to run out of driving pictures and now he can start posting roller derby / skating pics.
ReplyDeleteTerry
Fla.
This is going to be very interesting. I wish you the best of luck. Have fun.
ReplyDeleteCraig
MMMM Roller derby with chicks with big boobs.
ReplyDeleteAngel, I can SO see you as a Roller Derby girl! You go, Mama! I want to see pics of your uniform! Best of luck!!
ReplyDeleteWhat is Angel's roller derby name? I nominate "Red Bomber".
ReplyDeleteOh My Lord! This will send wirecutter into hysterics, you go girl! Avenging angel sounds good.
ReplyDeleteHow about "Cleosmacktra" as your derby name?
ReplyDeleteGinger snapped?
ReplyDeleteI love Cleosmacktra!
ReplyDeleteAnd wirecutter will never know about it because he doesn't read my blog very often.
The Panhandle Pounder
ReplyDeletejust post dates of first contest.... I wanna be there.....
ReplyDeletevaquero viejo
Oh Hell yes.
ReplyDelete"Shot and discuss" sounds like an excellent training program esp. for bar fights. "That was a most excellent bourbon, what do you think?"
ReplyDeleteAll kidding aside sounds like roller derby is in your future.
Went to the roller derby in Detroit a few years back with the kids just for kicks and it was a cheesy blast. All the girls stayed around and mingled with everyone afterward and my short time with skater Feta Sleeze is still burned in my memory. Yes Angel, you may need another Derby Babe moniker.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.detroitderbygirls.com/about-us/travel-team/
I can see the flaming red hair soaring around the track, leaving nothing but destruction in her wake. The other teams will soon have a bounty on her head, as in, we will pay you if you promise to not let her kill us.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a perfect outlet for you, Angel, I remember playing semi pro football when I was younger. Alas, that is a sport that requires slightly more than this old guy can give anymore. Roller derby however, sounds like a fantastic way for you to not only work out aggression, but to also have some time for yourself.
You just have to promise us to be careful. We can't afford for you to be laid up for too long, we would miss your fantastic posts.
Basketball was also not for me. I could do everything except make that ball go into the basket. Funny how they seem to have such a premium on that one little thing.
The local club here call themselves the Roller Betties.
ReplyDelete