Friday, May 31, 2013

I, Angel, being of sound mind

Oh God, oh God, oh God, I'm a dead woman.
Dead Angel, walking!
Crap, how the fuck do I get talked into these things.
Wirecutter, please, please, make it quick
and don't mess up my face....
 
Retrieved from a government drone
deployed over Central California....


 
 
Oh, God, wirecutter, I'm so sorry....
I'm going to go curl up in the corner and wait...

at

75 comments:

  1. OdysseusMay 31, 2013 at 12:49 PM

    We might be able to hide you at an undisclosed location is Missouri, his California acclimation won't be able to tolerate what we call "weather" here long enough for him to make an exhaustive search.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 12:51 PM

    Bless you, Odysseus, I'm packing my guns and some other shit, oh hell....

    ReplyDelete
  3. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    A thing of beauty angel!
    You amaze me with what you find!
    You are welcome here in WI too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 1:01 PM

    You don't think he'll find out that I may have been a little involved, do you?

    ReplyDelete
  5. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    Well, duh, Wisco. He knows I'm not smart enough to have carried this out alone.

    ReplyDelete
  6. giambyMay 31, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    Classic.

    ReplyDelete
  7. PhilMay 31, 2013 at 1:21 PM

    Ohhh Lordy.

    It's been nice knowing ya.

    Can I have your stuff?

    LMAO!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. catfishMay 31, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    Have Wiscodave Hide you out at the Cedar Swamps up north in our state. WC will never find you there! But just in case what kind of flowers should we send? LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  9. stevierayvMay 31, 2013 at 1:54 PM

    I would head for palo duro he'd have a hard time finding you in there.There's water and game you could hole up there pretty good.It worked for the Indians for awhile.But if he's determined he'll eventually get ya.Sadly I think you are destined to go the way of all the southern plains tribes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Craig M.May 31, 2013 at 2:11 PM

    Try claymores around the perimeter.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bryn, Isle of AngleseyMay 31, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    Sanctuary offered over here in Wales (UK, not AK) if mainland US is now somewhat risky for you..... The Mrs & I nearly choked on our tea watching that.
    I notice WC is making you wait... & wait... for his reaction..!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Angel eyesMay 31, 2013 at 2:42 PM

    I'm getting front row seats for this show!

    ReplyDelete
  13. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    stevierayv, I grew up in Palo Duro Canyon. One of my best buds' dad was the Park Ranger there. Unfortunately, wirecutter knows the Canyon, too.

    Claymores, check.

    Bryn, bless you, but I doubt I could pass customs with what's in my pack.

    rpm, you may proceed to bite my lily white ass.

    ReplyDelete
  14. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    It was actually Miss Lisa's idea in a round about sort of way. Catfish - may need some suggestions as to hidey holes...

    ReplyDelete
  15. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 3:16 PM

    Great, on the lam with a woman that has teeth marks on her ass. No one would notice that...

    ReplyDelete
  16. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 3:18 PM

    It's not like I walk around with my ass hanging out, Wisco.

    Okay, he usually updates his blog around 7:30 CST, so I have a little over 2 hours...

    ReplyDelete
  17. MissKMay 31, 2013 at 3:19 PM

    Honey, you're always welcome to Canada... he could never find you all the way up here. LMFAO!! you did good... ;-)
    You too Wisco... hehe (you wont go down alone Angel)

    Always had a feeling Wirecutter liked to shake it... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousMay 31, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    Well, he did tell you to get your own blog didn't he?
    You were just following orders, ya?
    LMAO

    Terry
    Fla.

    ReplyDelete
  19. DiscoWaveMay 31, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    falsetto: Angel dear, surely some mean,evil, hating IRS agent hacked your blog and posted that! I'm sure that nice WiscoDave was hard at work and surely had no time for such frivolity!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ken aka fht451May 31, 2013 at 4:05 PM

    Today I really needed a laugh. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. catfishMay 31, 2013 at 4:13 PM

    I'd hide her here Wisco.
    Clifford F. Messinger Bass Lake Preserve. As it states, no trails.
    The preserve isn't big, but if you download the PDF map you see it's surrounded by nothing but wilderness.
    http://www.nature.org/ourinitiatives/regions/northamerica/unitedstates/wisconsin/explore/preserve-descriptions-for-deer-hunting.xml
    Then there is the Turtle Flambeau Flowage or the Chippewa Flowage.
    Or you could get real sneaky and hide her in WC's backyard. I'd suggest the Marble Mountain Primitive Area in CA.234,957 acres. I used to camp there in my 20's. Hope this helps!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marble_Mountain_Wilderness
    I think a paintball challenge is the only way to settle this thing!

    ReplyDelete
  22. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 4:23 PM

    Does anyone else see the flaw in catfish posting the exact coordinates of where I'm supposed to be hiding in a comment wirecutter can read? Anyone? Bueller?

    ReplyDelete
  23. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 4:29 PM

    Don't worry. He's using big words...

    ReplyDelete
  24. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 4:30 PM

    Wisco, honey, put the damn shovel down, you've dug the hole deep enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      But, but there's dirt left...

      Delete
  25. taminator013May 31, 2013 at 4:35 PM

    Why the hell would she have to hide? Wirecutter should be happy with the improvement over his natural looks. It's kind of like the airbrushing that they do with Playboy centerfolds...........

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousMay 31, 2013 at 4:36 PM

    The cities of the east coast are probably the safest places to hide, at least from Wirecutter. Personally I'd rather face him than live there. If you need to get to Canada, I've got a fair chunk of the Montana route covered for you.

    Kyle Miller

    ReplyDelete
  27. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 4:39 PM

    Kyle, I would rather embrace the insanity that is wirecutter than set one foot in Canada. GRRRRRRR. No offense, MissK.

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousMay 31, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    If y'all can tolerate drunkin biker musicians and Dave's Insanity hot sauce we'll hide ya in Ky. ---Ray

    ReplyDelete
  29. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    Ray - book me a room!

    ReplyDelete
  30. MissKMay 31, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    Forgot about your earlier troubles Angel... my bad, I take it back.

    ReplyDelete
  31. catfishMay 31, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    Hands WiscoDave another empty sandbag! LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  32. Angel eyesMay 31, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    Real Texans don't run. You can whip him.
    Oh, and nibble, nibble.

    ReplyDelete
  33. wirecutterMay 31, 2013 at 6:07 PM

    I'm not saying a fucking word because I'm too busy packing my road bag.
    It's going to be a short trip, I know where both of you fuckers live.

    ReplyDelete
  34. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    *sigh*

    I'll get the bacon thawing. You should be here in 25 hours or so.
    Maybe less if you're really pissed...

    ReplyDelete
  35. Angel eyesMay 31, 2013 at 6:12 PM

    Who's both?

    ReplyDelete
  36. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 6:13 PM

    WiscoDave, the evil mastermind. I'm just the conduit.

    Sorry we didn't get our date, rpm. I was really looking forward to a road trip.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Miss LisaMay 31, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    Drumroll Please.....and now for your viewing pleasure.....it's on Facebook!!! Gonna be a good time in the ole town tonight! : P

    ReplyDelete
  38. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 6:17 PM

    Miss Lisa, parlay? Please?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Angel eyesMay 31, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    I live only 60 miles from the guy. I'm gonna load the .357 and put some ribs on the BBQ and wait it out.

    You ain't dead or maimed yet.:)






    ReplyDelete
  40. wirecutterMay 31, 2013 at 6:25 PM

    You got 4 days because I gotta starve my wolf for at least 3. I want him to be hungry when we get there.

    Fucking great. I was just informed by Miss Lisa that it is now on Facebook.

    ReplyDelete
  41. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 6:28 PM

    And wirecutter goes viral....

    I've got more hits on this than any single babe post. I really don't know what that says about our friends...

    ReplyDelete
  42. Angel eyesMay 31, 2013 at 6:33 PM

    Giddyup! Angel you have a way.

    Loves from rural California, for now.

    ReplyDelete
  43. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 6:35 PM

    Yee-haw, rpm! WiserAngel lives to ride another day! You'd better eat your Wheaties, boy...

    ReplyDelete
  44. stevierayvMay 31, 2013 at 6:35 PM

    Angel hit 287 when you get to Decatur email me WC doesn't know me I can help

    ReplyDelete
  45. WiscoDaveMay 31, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    What about the wretch hiding under the empty sand bags...? (Actually more of a sniper hide)

    ReplyDelete
  46. PeterMay 31, 2013 at 6:51 PM

    I can hide you for a few days here in Resume Speed, Texas. Then y'all can go on to the next hideout. If you keep going from hideout to hideout, randomly, you might last long enough to last out the Obama regime.

    ReplyDelete
  47. catfishMay 31, 2013 at 6:59 PM

    Wisco, There's an almost empty Sorority House down the road you can hide out in! Just bring lot's of beer! lol

    ReplyDelete
  48. SiennMay 31, 2013 at 7:34 PM

    Here in MS is always a option for ya'll!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Angel eyesMay 31, 2013 at 8:09 PM

    I'm tipping it to 50. Luv ya girlfriend. Sleep well.

    ReplyDelete
  50. AnonymousMay 31, 2013 at 8:15 PM

    Oh my freaking...Wow! Words just don't do that justice. You could hide here if y'all wanted to. Lots of mountains to get lost in.

    -Concerned Mama

    ReplyDelete
  51. AnonymousMay 31, 2013 at 8:17 PM

    That there is funny

    Riley

    ReplyDelete
  52. wirecutterMay 31, 2013 at 8:41 PM

    Bullshit. I will track her down.

    ReplyDelete
  53. hiswiserangelMay 31, 2013 at 9:02 PM

    To all of you offering sanctuary (said with a Hunchback accent), thank you, but I must decline.
    As rpm, pointed out, I'm a Texan and we don't run.
    Wirecutter, I will be here, waiting, bring it.
    (By "it", I meant, you know, cookies or chocolates, ribs would be nice...)

    ReplyDelete
  54. stevierayvJune 1, 2013 at 12:54 AM

    Texans have run ask Sam Houston we run till we cant run no more then we fight and then we get the republic right that's the history right

    ReplyDelete
  55. IrishJune 1, 2013 at 3:16 AM

    What the hell? I try and take a little hiatus and all hell breaks loose!

    Damn.... :)

    ( That is funny as hell!)

    ReplyDelete
  56. Crazy AmyJune 1, 2013 at 5:09 AM

    We have been hacked you haters. The FBI and CIA are investigating this hacking. We would never prance around with a Wirecutter. Meow meow.
    Crazy Amy baking away in Arizona

    ReplyDelete
  57. sig94June 1, 2013 at 7:32 AM

    Wirecutter, I gotta admit it, you look absolutely smashing in those tight whites.

    ReplyDelete
  58. hiswiserangelJune 1, 2013 at 7:38 AM

    Oh hell, Irish, I'm sorry I disturbed your vacation. Never mind all this nonsense.

    No, seriously, never mind it. The sooner it goes away, the sooner wc will forget. You know how the elderly are.

    ReplyDelete
  59. wirecutterJune 1, 2013 at 9:02 AM

    Yeah, this elderly Wirecutter seems to have forgotten where he put his detcord and blasting caps.

    ReplyDelete
  60. hiswiserangelJune 1, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    shhhhh...
    be vewy vewy quiet,
    wirecutter's hunting wascally wedheads...

    ReplyDelete
  61. Miss LisaJune 1, 2013 at 10:14 AM

    Great post...I just laugh and laugh and laugh.....am going to get him some white spandex fo sho tho!!!

    ReplyDelete
  62. hiswiserangelJune 1, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    Miss Lisa, you also need to get him a bacon strip "privacy shield".

    ReplyDelete
  63. wirecutterJune 1, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    You realize that you're only making it worse, right?

    Hold on, I think Miss Lisa escaped from the garage again.

    ReplyDelete
  64. hiswiserangelJune 1, 2013 at 10:18 AM

    Run, Miss Lisa! Be Free! He can't contain us both!

    ReplyDelete
  65. wirecutterJune 1, 2013 at 2:54 PM

    Handcuffs - where the fuck did I put those?

    ReplyDelete
  66. hiswiserangelJune 1, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    It's okay, wc. You can borrow a pair of mine. They're fur-lined, but they still work.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Whiskey TangoJune 1, 2013 at 4:39 PM

    Very nice. Given that he's from California and all, it appears the 'modesty block' is somewhere between 50x and 100x too large, but otherwise appears very realistic.

    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  68. BCJune 1, 2013 at 6:01 PM

    Hey don't forget to go over to im41.com and vote for me in the 'Coolest SOB In The Conservative Blogophere' contest..

    Vote for me because she will be dead, and as you can see Wirecutter is quarrr!

    ReplyDelete
  69. LeighJune 2, 2013 at 9:03 AM

    This is exactly why I need better internet where I live. When I heard there was a giant shit storm blowing across the Mid-West, I thought it was tornadoes again! More like day time TV:

    HWA - "Mmm, hmmm, I do what I want!"

    Dave - "I love her."

    RPM - "NO, I LOVE HER!"

    SRV -(running out of the crowd with a folding chair) "Back off, I seened 'er first!"

    Then from back stage:
    WC - "I'LL KILL 'EM ALL!"

    Irish yells from the back of the room - "What the hell is wrong with you people?!"

    ....and the whole time the crowd is chanting: Jery, Jerry, Jerry......

    And y'all say that us yankees have issues?


    Leigh
    Whitehall

    ReplyDelete
  70. Angel eyesJune 2, 2013 at 11:22 AM

    I'm not really sure what I just read except for the fact that it was fucking hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  71. hiswiserangelJune 2, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    rpm darlin', please don't encourage Leigh. ~sigh~ This is getting out of hand, and I'm still ducking wirecutter...

    ReplyDelete
  72. Angel eyesJune 2, 2013 at 11:29 AM

    Hi, Angel.
    Leigh sounds like a fine upstanding patriot to me.
    I vote that we push this thread to 100 comments.
    Who's in?

    ReplyDelete
  73. hiswiserangelJune 2, 2013 at 11:32 AM

    Notice wc hasn't commented since I offered to let him use my handcuffs? Heh heh heh

    ReplyDelete
  74. Angel eyesJune 2, 2013 at 11:40 AM

    Isn't he on a road trip? I do like the Aussie term "Walkabout". I try to do that every Sunday morning with my pooch. There's a lot of territory to explore in this beautiful state. It's unfortunate and ironic that it's run by liberals who for the most part have never left their offices in their entire lives.

    ReplyDelete

Play nice. None of you are too old for a spanking.