No wonder cats are assholes

When someone catches me cheating on my diet

https://youtu.be/TYJkBemF0yI

"I'm sorry sweetie, can you repeat that?"

I would actually watch this

I swear, my zombie will spend eternity walking into shit

until someone stabs it in the head.

Every lady should know how to accessorize

The Ladies of IDF

Not another American taxpayer dime

Another reason to love Glo-bull Warming

Every bunny was kung fu fighting...

I'm almost ashamed I got it. Almost.

Yeah,been busy

Since last we talked,

1. My laptop died.
2. We got 60 hours of thunder-sleet/ice/snow.
3. Branches have been snapping power lines for the last 24 hours.
4. Satan keeps trying to give me my soul back. 

Can we do this if Madonna ever decides to move back?

There's a Christmas List of cunts who need to have their passports denied and/or revoked.

Just in case you need a feeling check today

I have a diagnosis!

The internet is my best means of "getting out and meeting people". In real life, I'm nothing like I am online. I have social anxiety. I'm the idiot that doesn't know what to say, and will respond to  a waiter who tells me to enjoy, "You too!" And then will spend the rest of the meal obsessing over the faux pas that no one else even noticed. But even online, sometimes it gets to be too much. Too many people, too many voices, too many demands on time and attention and feelings. And I get overwhelmed and have to withdraw for my own sanity. When I disappear and don't post, I'm recharging. I'm somewhere quiet, alone but for the company of a good book, phone turned off and laptop hidden under a pile of unfolded laundry. I am an Ambivert.

"Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred..."

"So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde, 

and that's it hanging, framed, on the parlor wall next to the Renoir."

Even our dogs are snowflakes