Friday, November 21, 2014

Fascinate


The teacher asked the class to  use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm,
and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and
I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use
the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she
had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was
no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Leslie has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
h/t Terry from FL

Going to hell in gasoline soaked panties


New guidelines for ignoring illegal aliens

"The Department of Homeland Security has just released new "Policies for the Apprehension, Detention, and Removal of Undocumented Immigrants." Designed to fill in the details after President Obama's announcement that at least four million currently illegal immigrants will be given work permits, Social Security numbers and protection from deportation, the DHS guidelines are instructions for the nation's immigration and border security officers as they administer the president's directive.
The new priorities are striking. On the tough side, the president wants U.S. immigration authorities to go after terrorists, felons, and new illegal border crossers. On the not-so-tough side, the administration views convicted drunk drivers, sex abusers, drug dealers, and gun offenders as second-level enforcement priorities. An illegal immigrant could spend up to a year in prison for a violent crime and still not be a top removal priority for the Obama administration."
So, "gun offenders" are low level priority. Does that go for US citizens as well as illegal aliens?
h/t Jesse from DC

That's it, I'm done with Walmart

Seriously, I'm done. 

I went to pick up a few toiletries at lunch and came up against a lesson in immigration and entitlement. I was in the vitamins, listening to several foreign women chattering away loudly in the next aisle over. Irritating? Oh yeah, but what are you going to do? They are entitled to speak whatever language they want while out shopping. They may be new and working on their English skills, and their native language is more comfortable for them. Whatever the reason, it's none of my business.

So rounding the corner to head down the lotions aisle, I see them standing right in front of what I need. Three Somali women, dressed head to toe in native garb, laughing and talking in Somali and blocking the whole aisle. I saw two shoppers head down the aisle, see them and back out; I'm not that timid. I walk up to them, politely ask to get what I need, and start to reach for my body lotion. That's when they turn, proudly displaying their Walmart employee badges, and shift to block my access. One of them tells me, "No English, no English." WTF?! Seriously?!

So I pantomime that I need to get past them and get my lotion, they giggle, chatter and turn their backs to me, not ceding an inch. Don't mess with a redheaded Texan, bitches; I gently pressed past them and grabbed my lotion. I decided I'd shopped enough and headed straight to Customer Service where I waited for 25 minutes while the service rep tried to explain to the non-English speaking Hispanic woman why she couldn't return used panties. When I finally got up there, my blood pressure was pounding behind my eyes and I had a massive migraine starting, but I used my polite reasonable words. I explained that I had been treated rudely and dismissively by three employees who were taking a break in the lotions aisle. I explained they pretended to not speak or understand English, and refused to allow me access to the products they were blocking. Since I couldn't pronounce or even spell the names on their tags (not a single one of them was Beth or Peggy), I described them as closely as possible considering I could only see fabric, the tips of their shoes and their faces. And that's when I was told that they were NOT required to speak English, that they were hired to interact with Amarillo's Somali community, and not English speaking customers. Furthermore, I was being unreasonable to expect them to act a certain way. I was basically treated as a redneck bigot and told if I didn't like interacting with other cultures, I shouldn't shop there. Absolutely fine with me.

No surprise here, this is the same suburban Walmart that was featured in my back to school entitlement post. This is the store the farthest from the Somali community (there are two others within a couple of miles of their neighborhoods), it is in the upscale Southwest area where homes range from $250K to $750K, and one million-plus dollar gated community. Not a lot of Somali refugees. So one wonders, just how much work do they do? How often are they called upon to translate or interact? Are these some of those jobs we're told Americans won't do? How many qualified American applicants were turned down so these women could have these jobs?

So yeah, I'm done with Walmart; and I left the lotion on the Customer Service desk, not another penny.

Derp Award Winner


Aptly descriptive


And thus, Las Vegas was born


When you've really had enough


Thursday, November 20, 2014

Meanwhile, in the Texas Panhandle

Boy, I think you may be lost....


Wiserangel, one of these days

WiscoDave sent me the link this morning under the heading "Miss Lisa, Angel and Sara: The Later Years". I think I'm the only newbie in that group, but it would still be fun. May have to be a Main Event at The First Ever Blogger Blowout, y'all can sell ticket's to watch me get baked for the very first time.



Awwww, c'mon, give us a little hug....


That'll cure you of treehugging.

One of the greatest movies ever

Can you name it?