Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Anybody got a spare guillotine?

I've had a 3-day migraine. My meds manage to dull it enough to function. but I'm spending a huge amount of time in a dark room whimpering. Right now I'm riding a wave of Imitrex and booze and feeling passably decent. But the auras and sparklies are still quite entertaining. If it's not any better by tomorrow, I'll break down and go see the doctor.

Know your enemy

Sage advice from Jesse in DC

And make that site up there a daily stop.
Pure enjoyment.

Baffled and squicked out by this

I had thought our culture had jumped the proverbial shark a couple of decades ago. I thought we couldn't sink any lower. Then along came Lady Gaga, twerking, bathroom selfies, and Tinder. Okay, there was room to sink. But how much more? Well, Obama was elected twice, Operation Pink protested as giant marching vulvas, and we have a giant orange pussy as Speaker of the House. We're at rock bottom, right? RIGHT?!

No, there's this:

That, my intrepid readers, is the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator. The selfie camera you can stick up your who-haw during self-pleasuring and take pictures and video of your inner love tunnel. But wait! There's more! You can share video of the epicenter of your orgasm with anyone anywhere at any time by uploading the video to a pc or smartphone. Yay! Pussygrams! In living color!

So please, please, for the love of decency, tell me this is rock bottom. We can't sink any further. Right?

Angel, the early years

Cold as ice

I hope a big fat icicle falls off Al Gore's roof of his mansion
and skewers his fat lying ass to the ground.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Oh the things they've seen!

Sexy Dice Game: Marriage Edition

Out of the doghouse, Part Deux

So, Poppy's birthday a couple of weeks ago. remember? Barbeque and Gander Mountain fishing-palooza? Yeah? Well, I promised we'd go back and actually make it all the way back to guns this time. What I didn't count on was mom. She wanted to go too. They decided that the 53rd Wedding Anniversary was lead, and they were both looking for gifts for each other. Cue sentimental "awwwwws".

I've been thinking about this for a while. Mom's not handling her 9mm as well, losing strength in her hands to work the slide and pull the trigger comfortably. She's losing confidence in her ability to fire it safely. So we went looking for something more her size and speed.What we found was a cute little S&W M&P Bodyguard .38 WITH red dot laser sight. In under 15 minutes, she was handling it like a pro, giggling and completely taken with the laser. Happy, happy wife.

Poppy was playing hardball. He made a beeline to the prominently displayed Barrett 82A1 Centerfire rifle with stand and scope for a cool $12,999.99. "Oh, is that all?!" sarcasm dripping from his beloved's lips. Wiley man that he is, he dropped his sights ever so slightly, and wandered over to the shotguns. He tried on several pump action Mossbergs and Winchesters when the salesman handed him the first semi-automatic shotgun he'd ever held. It was love at first sight. Or lust. He's my Poppy, I don't want to go there. But it was definite permanent attachment. Mom only slightly flinched at the price, looked at the man she's loved for over half a century, and sighed. 53 years of wedded bliss teaches one the value of picking one's battles and giving gifts openly and happily. So Poppy got his Winchester Super X3 Black Shadow semi-automatic .12 gauge shotgun.

What did I get? A headache, more ammo and a Green Chili Willy's Green Chili Bacon Cheeseburger with fries and sweet tea.

Sunday, March 1, 2015