Wednesday, February 5, 2014

I f***ing hate winter

Got up this morning to a balmy 2 with a -24 wind chill factor. Yea. And before you Northerners start in with your disgustingly low temps that go on for months, understand that it's harder to go from a week of 50s into a few days of single digits. You get lulled into a false sense of security and end up losing your gloves in between Arctic fronts.

So posting has been light due to intermittent loss of electricity and wifi. Sometimes singularly, sometimes in tandem. I promise once things thaw out I'll get back on the horse. In the meantime, here's a joke.


It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota 
asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold  or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. 
When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed 
going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, 
called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist 
at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect 
even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 
'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' 

'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them 
to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

'Absolutely,' the man replied.  'It's looking more and more like it is going 
to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a fuckload of firewood'

The lesson:  Don't trust what the government tells you.
 

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Uhh, teacher, how much is in a fuckload?

Kookla, Fran, & Olie

stevierayv said...

Ah the joys of "North Texas"

hiswiserangel said...

Damn skippy, darlin'.

ravinglawyer13 said...

ROFL...nice. Thank wirecutter for a new reader. Good combination of vulgarity, humor and common sense. Kudos ma'am...

P.S. Fuckload = 4 Assloads = 8 Shitloads

hiswiserangel said...

Awwww... do I have to? WC's ego is waayyy too big comfort. If I have to thank him for another reader...

well, shit.

wirecutter said...

You're welcome.
Don't trust no fucking lawyers.
Or Wirecutter.....

hiswiserangel said...

Okie dokie, you're 1) telling me not to trust lawyers, and 2) telling me not to trust you, so do I trust lawyers or not?!

~wiserangel pours another finger of Jameson's and sits down to contemplate~

ravinglawyer13 said...

Of COURSE you don't trust fucking lawyers. We do have something in common though. While redheads are born without souls, lawyers get them circumcised once they pass law school. Meh, same difference...

hiswiserangel said...

Excuse me, Mr. Fucking Lawyer (may I just call you fucking?), I'll have you know I have a soul. As a matter of fact, I have a whole box of souls. I keep it in my undies drawer. :-)

ravinglawyer13 said...

You wouldn't be the first to call me that, nor I suspect the last, though most often it's in conjunction with something else. Fucking asshole, fucking jerk-off, fucking shyster (ironic given German heritage), fucking extremist, fucking fuck-face (bar...law school...redneck Texan in me hit on wrong woman...broken hand).See, some of us have a sense of humor, though not as much of a sense of propriety as my mom would have liked to impart. ;)

Volfram said...

I just checked and apparently the high today in Colorado Springs was 0F.

My nose hairs froze when I stepped out of the house today to take a walk.

Unknown said...

-35f air temp at my place this morning. No riff-raff in sight.

Robert Fowler said...

Good old North Texas weather. 60 degrees and 30 minutes later 15 degrees with a windchill of 278 below.

I think if I was going to move back, it would be South Texas.