Monday, August 1, 2016

Part of my OCD

It's been 25 years since I've been in school, where I had to go to a classroom and take notes. I'm back "in school" now, cyber school. I can sit in my living room nekkid and learn all about project management. But the stress of learning and the drive for perfection has dug up some of my worst recurring nightmares. This is one of the biggest. Usually, I realize I'm one class from graduation, it's the day of the final and I've never been to the class, never studied, never had the book, and don't know where the class is being held to even show up to take a chance on the test. I'm running through the halls when all the doors slam shut and lock, and I know I've just failed and I won't graduate. That's when I wake up and realize I'm a 50-year-old mom with two adult daughters, two college degrees and a somewhat semi-successful blog. I'm okay. Sort of.


28 comments:

B said...

Go back to the part where yer sitting there nekkid.....


LOL.

And BTW, check yer email.

Anonymous said...

tape over your camera so nobody remotes it on

and dies laughing

Wildflower

DoninSacto1 said...

Wildflower. you don't seem to fit in around here. Why don't you go away?
Sorry Angel but this thing is getting to me.

hiswiserangel said...

It's okay, Donin, Wildflower is "new" here and we haven't quite figured each other out yet. While I appreciate your taking up for me, I assure you my feelings aren't hurt. It's all good.

M Smith said...

I've had those kinda dreams, for years I'd wake up covered in sweat thinking I'd missed my last exam and wouldn't graduate. It was so bad that I would have to get up and touch my degree

pigpen51 said...

I have an even worse recurring nightmare of highschool. I keep going back to school to play sports. They let me play as a 56 year old man, which I handle, and the class work is fine too, but when I go to open my locker, I just can never remember my combination. Which is actually funny, because in reality, the locker combination is the only part of high school that I could probably handle at my age. I would love the hot young chicks, but to be honest, from what I have seen now days, they are too fast for me.

JJ said...

If it helps at all Angel, you aren't alone. I laugh about it most of the time but man Oh man is it a pain in the ass sometimes..

Anonymous said...

Darn you to heck, now I'll have that damn dream....again.

Anonymous said...

I have had the same dream, and the only thing greater than the anguish is the relief when I wake up to blessed old dude reality......


vaquero viejo

Anonymous said...

have had my camera remotely turn on by unknown parties twice in the past

so my humor is that bad?

WILDFLOWER

Granny said...

Dont'cha absolutely hate dreams like that? It is so real, and you are in the panic mode that usually does not affect your life, then, blam! you are trying to figure out what to do and how to deal with it. Then you wake up and it is so real and immediate; It takes a second or two to realize it was a dream. Heart pounding, sweaty palms and huge relief that you are awake, and safe, (for now).
Anxiety dreams are one way to deal with the fear of failure.
You are not in danger, your brain is in good nick, and you will excel.

RabidAlien said...

Haven't had that particular dream in a while now, but I still occasionally have nightmares from Navy days, same as this one: show up to school one day, wearing half my uniform (other half being civvies), haven't been to class in 20 years and the instructors won't back down, I *have* to take the Comp test (Comprehensive Exam, aka finals). I'm handed the test, which is about 200 pages thick, with one question per page, no calculator, nothing. Those are the dreams that are guaranteed to wake me up and send me for Excedrin, even though during the dream I'm usually fully aware that it *is* a dream. My head is a strange place.

rickn8or said...

RabidAlien, my dreams along that line include a conference with my High-School principal about why I cut my American History class yesterday. Explaining that I was pre-flighting for a 12-hour tactical seem to cut no ice with him.

("Mr. Smalling, I wasn't studying History, I was making it!")

SiGraybeard said...

I was gonna say that dream isn't "OCD" it's "The Human Condition" in our modern world. Except most of the commenters have said that already, just in more words.

Ogrrre said...

I still have this dream, and I graduated with my BS back 22 years ago. Usually, in the dream, I realize it's time for the final, and I forgot I had even enrolled in the course, so I missed class for the entire semester.

Anonymous said...

Angel, you're more than okay. You are great! I enjoy your great blog and the wit of your commenters. Today, B, pigpen 51, and rickn8or hit it out of the park.
Take care,
Craig
Spring TX

Anonymous said...

I had the dream as well...had it many years after graduating. A similar dream was about missing or forgetting a shift at a company that I had left many years ago as well, but would occasionally take a shift to help someone out in an emergency.
I would wake up thinking I had overslept or forgotten to show up...same "oh shit" feelings as from the college exam dream.

The human mind...a damn peculiar thing.
--JTF

Chris said...

Never had this type of dream. Just getting through it was a nightmare. In fact, I seldom remember my dreams, good, bad, or just strange. Mostly the latter, as in, "What the heck was that about?"

iOpener said...

Ugh, you reminded me of the same dream except I was running around the campus looking for the exam room wearing only a shirt with my butt and wedding tackle flopping about as I ran and causing jeers and laughter from all spectators.

pigpen51 said...

Angel. This man is a man of extreme judgement and high moral character. I hope you keep him around.

Sarthurk said...

Oh I had those dreams for years after college. But that was over 30 years ago, and I don't have that dream anymore. I usually dreams of trying to get somewhere, and never do.

rickn8or said...

Sarthurk,same here, usually associated with a permanant change-of-station during my Navy career. Curiously, it's almost always associated with my tour at NAS Point Mugu, CA.

Anonymous said...

I once took a course in linear algebra. After studying for the final exam, I walked into class only to find it empty. I waited, and waited, and waited. After about half an hour I went and found a phone and called my professor. Upon reaching him, I explained my situation. He then told me that final exam was last week (a test I thought was the course's last test before the final exam). Upon realizing my stupidity I was silent. Picking up on this the professor assured me that he thought I had done well on the final exam, and asked if I wanted to know my grade. I said yes, and after a moment's pause while he looked it up, he told me I got an A.

The above actually happened in real life. Rarely have I felt so stupid.

As for dreams, my worst recurring dream is that the Navy informs me they made an error in calculating my service, and that they have determined that I owe them a year more time. I am then forcibly returned to active duty and sent to sea on a fast attack submarine (which I served on in real life). The worst case of this dream is when, due to an error, my time of service ends while the submarine is on an extended deployment. I am called in to see the Captain and told that I will have to complete the deployment because the boat's mission is too critical to stop anywhere to let me off.

rickn8or said...

"As for dreams, my worst recurring dream is that the Navy informs me they made an error in calculating my service, and that they have determined that I owe them a year more time. I am then forcibly returned to active duty and sent to sea on a fast attack submarine (which I served on in real life). The worst case of this dream is when, due to an error, my time of service ends while the submarine is on an extended deployment. I am called in to see the Captain and told that I will have to complete the deployment because the boat's mission is too critical to stop anywhere to let me off."

IIRC, when you're kept beyond your EAOS, you rate a 25% pay increase and a move to Officer's Country. That's one of the reasons I was an Airdale; you could get moved back to CONUS pretty quickly. (Well, that and tracking fast-attack subs. ;) )

rickn8or said...

Testing... Testing...

Just seeing if an italics tag makes things go all wonky; I've posted two responses with the tag outlining a quote to Anonymous, and they've both dropped into the bit bucket.

rickn8or said...

"Comment moderation has been enabled."

D'oh! Nevermind...

Anonymous said...

rickn8or Those fast boats you guys were tracking, are you talking about the ones that fire signal flares next to your flight deck or active ping during exercises - a submariner's version of olly olly oxen free - just so all the skimmers would know where we were? Yah know, just 'cause we were so tired of not being found. Just asking. ;))

Oddly, as to the pay increase and upgrade to O-country for being kept past EAOS, in some of my dreams I would demand similar things, and the Navy gives in. Little did I know someone beat me to it in reality.

rickn8or said...

Anonymous, I don't know nothin' 'bout no flares alongside my flight deck; I kept the back end of a P-3C Orion running. My AW's never complained about any active pings to me. (But they complained about every damn thing else! ;) )