Monday, March 6, 2017

Mondays suck

I've been through a Z-pack, two steroid shots, numerous types of allergy
meds and a kickass cough syrup with codeine.
(Great stuff, but the dreams are seriously freaky.)
I can't shake the cough; I'm coughing so hard I have a stress hernia,
and I think I've separated some ribs.
And to add insult to injury, women of a certain age who've born children
suffer from a little thing called "stress incontinence".
That's right, I cough up a lung and pee.
So right now, Life can kiss my Depends-clad ass.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Try cough pearls BENZONATATE by Tessalon, miracle cough pills. It kills the cough action by numbing throat and it works awesome. 200mg size 3 a day bam done..Hope this works for you.

mukilteomac

Unclezip said...

Try some slippery elm lozenges. Get well soon, Angel.

Anonymous said...

Get well soon, Angel. You're tough; you'll get through this.

Seneca III said...

I'm on codeine at the moment (sciatica - bad bout). Last night I kicked off the covers and attacked the bedside light - dreamed it was a worm coming to eat me. Will wait and see what this night brings. Age does weary.

hiswiserangel said...

Seneca, two nights ago, I dreamed I was oven-roasting Max the Wonderdog. Only he wasn't dead. Nor was he willing. Everytime I opened the lid to baste him, he'd shake and try to jump out and run.
And that reminds me, I need to give Max a bath.

J Bogan said...

After the ribs heal maybe. Dont be a glutton for punishment. Get well soon

Anonymous said...

A ton of Guaifenesin(Mucinex), and a lot of water will at least soften up the crud in your lungs so you don't have to cough up a lung to get rid of it. The best cough suppressant I have found is one teaspoon each of dried Mullen and Coltsfoot. Steep in 2 cups of boiling water for 10 to 15 minutes; strain; sweetened with honey and lemon. Judy

wirecutter said...

Seneca III: Try acupuncture. I'm not kidding.
My doctor wanted to put me on painkillers and physical therapy and I asked for acupuncture.
4 sessions over a one week period and it hasn't bothered me in years.

KnottaRobot said...

Cyanide will get rid of that nasty cough.

Granny said...

Oh dear, you poor girl. Wire cutter is right, try acupuncture. The wild dreams from opiates are a pisser, with or without commas.

Randy Morton said...

Next time the doctor offers you a Z-pack, tell him to give you a placebo instead. It's cheaper and works just as well. Good luck and I hope it clears up soon.

Anonymous said...

Angel we're with you...

Anonymous said...

invoking the Deity on your behalf...hope it leaves you soon, Wise Angel One....


vaquero viejo

Seneca III said...

Thanks for the acapuncture advice, Wirecutter et. al: I hadn't thought of that and will look into it.

Dwan Seicheine said...

I feel for you. Myself, I could walk naked through poison ivy and not get it.
Genes. Gotta love good genes.

Dwan Seicheine said...

Wiseangel.

Max the Wonder dog is dead. I ate him. Tasted like chicken too.

Vietvet said...

You know those was warning labels they put on cough syrup containing codeine? The ones that say "ALCOHOL MAY INTENSIFY THE EFFECTS OF THIS MEDICATION"? Well, they shouldn't have told me that. Me and Jack Daniels, that is.

Just sayin'...

; }

Reg T said...

hiswiserangel,

If you aren't allergic to it, hydrocodone works much better than codeine and shouldn't cause the weird dreams. If you can't get the cough syrup made with hydrocodone (or get it at a compounding pharmacy), Vicodin (hydrocodone and acetaminophen - Tylenol) tabs work well, too. Try a half tab, if that doesn't work, try a whole tab. My wife and I both had a horrible upper respiratory infection a few weeks back, with uncontrollable coughing. I had used Vicodin for this before, personally, and for some of our patients on my ward, so we used that and it worked well. (For any nosy Parkers reading this, we both had Rx's for it.)