Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Justin Bieber and animal cruelty

This is 42-year-old Igor Vorozhbitsyn. He was walking to his favorite fishing spot, minding his own business, when he was attacked from behind by a bear. A big nasty brown bear.  While the bear was gnawing on him, clawing him, doing what bears do, Igor was preparing to die. But fate favored him when his cell phone rang, playing Justin Bieber's "Baby". Now, Igor swears up and down that his granddaughter downloaded it to his phone as a joke, and he is NOT a Belieber.

Okay, so the phone goes off, Bieber's voice pierces the air, startling and appalling the bear, and the bear runs off in self-defense. Igor manages to call for help, and is rescued by some fellow fishermen. The bear has since filed charges against Igor for animal cruelty.

My question: would it be worth it to you to have a Bieber song on your phone if it would save your life in a bear mauling? Or would you rather be bear scat?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2716479/Fisherman-saved-bear-attack-Justin-Bieber-ringtone-went-mauled-scared-bear-away.html?ito=social-facebook

11 comments:

Bryn. said...

Bear Sh*t. There ARE fates worse than death....

jesse in DC said...

Neither. Be armed in the woods where bears might be.

Anonymous said...

"Filed charges for animal cruelty"

Bwahahahah

Terry
Fla.

JeremyR said...

The Bieber ring tone would have the same effect on me as the bear, and we would be hiding in the same tree. It's a no win.

Flier389 said...

I'd be lunch for the bear. I can't stand that little punk. To bad we can't send him back to Canada.

Bob S. said...

If I had a bieber song on my phone, it wouldn't matter if I was saved or not.
I would have to have plastic surgery to change my features, change my name, give up my career, activities and start a new life.

Probably as a Monk or missionary working with Ebola victims.
The shame would force me into this. I couldn't let me family know that I had a bieber song on my phone, I just couldn't do that to them.

wirecutter said...

What Bob said.

Critter said...

Is bear. Is eat Igor.

Leigh said...

Having a bieber ring tone, should automatically qualify you as bear food!
Not having a cell phone, I don't have to worry about it. Now a gun fight ring tone - I'd pay real money for that! I'd go to a Starbucks and just pray to get a call!!!

Leigh
Whitehall, NY

Anonymous said...

Put some Ted Nugent on your phone, particularly the song "Fred Bear" just so the bear gets the idea it's not at the top of the food chain!

Rusty

Volfram said...

On the one hand I believe that ringtones should be obnoxious and distinct so that the phone's owner is encouraged to pick up the phone as quickly as possible instead of letting it ring and enjoying it.

On the other hand... Justin Beiber.