The first two are perfect

but I'd aim more to the northwest of Nagasaki.

What? Too Soon?

I swear, it's so much fun to watch.

And now all the special protected groups are turning on each other.

Liberal cannibalism.

Life is good.

I live on the 3 and a Halfth Floor

Yeah, I can relate

In 1979, 16-year-old Brenda Ann Spencer was arrested

after the infamous Cleveland Elementary School shooting in California,

which killed the principal and a custodian. When asked why she did it,

her reply was, "I just don't like Mondays."

It just made me giggle

So a nice pinot grigio or chardonnay with Wirecutter?

Tinder profile, circa 1865

As if we needed more reasons

Oh those wacky Vikings!

Some things never change

They call hiim "Wirecutter"

When you realize Gramps had game

Happy Father's Day!

To my beloved Poppy,

who is somewhere in the Sangre de Cristo mountains

fishing his heart out and may or may not be back

sometime this week.

He'll let us know.

Take that, Capri Sun!

It was fun for the first half bushel

Sitting on Grandma Evelyn's front porch, June/July in Canadian, TX, heat and humidity,

sweat running down your back puddling in your shorts, and your thumbs rubbed raw by

the end of the second bushel. Good times.

I really miss Grandma Evelyn.

Combining my two great passions

Some quick confessions

I've been conspicuously absent the last couple of months, and I thought I should tell you what's been going on. My eyesight has gotten to the point that I have a big blurry blank spot in the middle and being online and reading the screen gives me a migraine. When I type, I do it blind, eyes closed, by touch and muscle memory. Thank God for Spell check. But it's still exhausting and a little disturbing.

A few years ago, during an eye exam, I was told I have very tiny cataracts in both eyes. Probably due to working outside in the bright Texas sun without shades. I hate anything you have to use with glasses, clip-ons or those big clunky things that slide over your glasses. The doctor told me they would get worse, and the less protection I had the faster they would deteriorate. Flash forward three years. Yeah I know, I should have my eyes examined every year, but who has the time? This morning, after the doctor smacked me upside the head, he told me my cataracts are seriously "occluding my near and distant vision." I'm so nearsighted, I focus on the cataract and nothing beyond it. Well, fuck. Bad news, I shouldn't be driving. Shouldn't, but we all know that's not going to stop me. Good news, it's serious enough that the eye surgeon will probably repair my myopia when he removes the little fuckers. My appointment is set for June 28. Until then, online is limited.

Oh, and here's a picture of Max.

A daily discussion with Max

I do this with every trigger

I didn't choose the Thesaurus life, it chose me

Spot diddled while the Hood burned

Geology 101 Lab

When you have several sections of

horny college Freshman licking

the same minerals day after day,

you're just begging for a mono outbreak.

All the days blur together

I agreed with this at first, but then I remembered

I'm a stay-at-home mom and weekends are meaningless.

So change "weekends" to "nights" and you got it.

How to diagnose OCD kids in pre-school

Who are these animals?!

I blame the LGBTQ crowd.

The top pieces are in honor of lesbians,

and the bottom are two dudes having a swordfight.

If Max was a PTSD support dog

From April to October

Allergy season can be brutal

Amen

Relax, he's just meditating

Love the strategic hand placement!

Government vs. Private Property "Owner"

Puberty. It's a hell of a thing.

Well, it looks like a Vegas Vacation

Teen  Queen has always been fascinated with Paris and the "Awful" Tower, she's always wanted to go there on vacation. When she was twelve, we took a family vacation to Paris, Texas. They have a mini Awful Tower with a big red cowboy hat hanging off the top.

That held her for a while, but this summer she's back to Paris France Vacation please! Which means we're probably headed for Vegas and Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. I'll go to Sin City, but I'll never take my baby to Shariaville.

And Georgia O'Keeffe smiled

Dragon Leatherworks Summer Sale

I am lusting hard for this one.

Now through June 14th (ie: for 7 full days so we can deliver by Fathers

Day) any of the PRE-MADE Valkyrie products on our website will be

shipped free, at a 20% discount from the online price!

Dads...let your wives/girlfriends know what you want!

The list of pre-made, ready-to-sell holsters are here:

https://www.dlwtn.com/custom/valkyrie_premade

THIS ONLY APPLIES TO IN-STOCK PRE-MADE HOLSTERS ON ONLY THE WEB PAGE IN

THE LINK! No other products are discounted.

We run one sale, once a year. This is it for 2017, and the prices will

go back up at Eastern Time 23:59 of June 14th.

Orders MUST be phoned in to 1-865-483-7100, during regular business

hours: Noon to 7:30 PM MON-FRI, 11AM to 8PM Saturday. We will process

your order right over the phone, and ship the following business day.

We are not advertising this through FB....this is only for those folks

who have us "liked", as a way to show our appreciation to our customers!

Did I mention I have a beautiful custom Valkerie? That I adore? That I may be buried with because I don't love anyone enough to bequeath it to them? Seriously, if you're going to spend money on a gift for dad, get him something he'll cherish. Not another tie or bottle of English Leather. C'mon, a man can only wear so many ties and stink so much. And if you're going to spend money on a holster, don't waste it on something that's going to need replacing or will end up in the back of the closet because it doesn't work. Buy from Dennis, get quality. You won't regret it.

Angel's limo to Hell, complete with chauffeur

And yes, you can pet the puppers.

But hands off the driver.

I found wirecutter's romper!!!

https://youtu.be/hfeAH_01rn0

Meanwhile in Texas

A future member of Chi Omega

I was very anti-Greek in college. For one thing, I was poor. Not barely scraping by poor, but $14 for food for a month poor. Definitely NOT sorority material. For another thing, I was a free thinker. More importantly, I was a thinker.

In the late 80s-early 90s, college girl hairdos ran to the permed, big bangs, and fabric bows. The bigger the bow, the more important you were. It was a bowochracy. The two sororities at WTAMU were the Chi Omegas (Chi-O, Chi-O, it's off to bed we go, with whips and chains and kinky things, Chi-O! Chi-o, chi-o, chi-o....) and the Delta Zetas (Sleazy DZies). I was a Gamma Delta Iota (goddamned independent) and for a while a Rho Omega Tau Chi (ROTC). Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, sorority girls and bowheads. You could tell the popular guys on campus, the tradition was to nail a bowhead and take her bow as a trophy. The guys would hang them on bolo ties from their truck's rearview mirrors. Nothing pisses off a sorority girl like getting in her guy's truck and seeing a sorority sister's bow hanging from his bolo. Or worse, seeing a rival sorority's bow hanging there.

Sorority girls in Texas grow up to be Junior Leaguers. If you don't know what those are, look it up, Skippy. One of the great joys of life is telling Junior Leaguer jokes.

What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a Junior Leaguer?
After sex, the prostitute says, "That's it." They nymphomaniac says, "That's it?!" and the Junior Leaguer says, "That's it! I'll paint the ceiling peach!"

What's the difference between a Junior Leaguer and Jello? Jello moves when you eat it.

Why don't Junior Leaguers like orgies? They hate writing all those thank you notes.

I could go on, but....

I don't have a fuck left to give

When you warn people over and over about danger, but then they go ahead and dive head-first into it, what can you do when they get hurt? The world has been warned about radical Islam, but there are those who welcome it into their lives anyway. And they pay the price. England, and indeed most of Europe except for Poland (anyone have any Polack jokes? No?), has chosen her fate and I'm too tired of it all to care. I do weep for the kids who had no choice, but I hope they're paying attention and strengthening their resolve to fight.

Radical Islam is the venomous snake,

Moderate Islam is the grass that hides it.

Red hair and white skin!

It's a gingiraffe!!

You can even see pink on its skin

where it's starting to sunburn.