Liberal Son

Liberal Son

Some folks were born and raised to play the victim,

Ooh, they're always the "oppressed".

And cuz they believe they know better than you,

they take the streets to protest. (In giant pink pussies)

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no protester's son, no.

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Liberal one. Oh no!

Some folks are blessed with fame and fortune, y'all,

How they strut and preen with flair, Lord,

But behind their walls and big armed guards,

They lecture you about what is fair. No, no, no.

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Hollywood son, son.

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Liberal One. Lord.

Some folks are given power to govern man,

Trusted to do what the people want.

But when it comes time to uphold the law,

They take their power and walk. Walk, walk, walk.

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Democrat's son. No.

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Liberal one.

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no Liberal one.
~hwa, 1-31-17

Oh look! It takes Discover Card!

Let's play "Name that caliber".

This is why I don't protest

I know the topography won't work, but

Angel, how is your Monday going?

It's a "Maker's in a Jelly Jar" kind of Monday.

And again, to the kind person who gave me the treat,

I enjoyed meeting with you and your family and hope you're all doing well.

The struggle is real

He'd better have SPF5000 on those tootsies.

Cruel and unusual

Lord, ain't it the truth

And yet, his farts are probably more productive than Obama's.

Can you spot the difference?

Stop me if you've heard this one

How do wimmin snakes make sammiches?

Dear God, I miss Crazy Uncle Joe

Wait until he discovers shish kabobs

Wirecutter, Patron Saint of Knuckledraggers

I don't even have one

Seriously, I can't ride a bike. I mean, I can ride one, but it isn't pretty;

and I can guarantee you I'll crash at some point.

Just ask Poppy. Or Wirecutter since they spent a whole day talking about my mishaps.

Trump Era Occupy protests

Sorry for posting this

Don't make me go Godiva on your ass

When you're protesting on a budget

That's one way to keep your lead

The computer generation

And, ironically, their mascot is the Raccoons.

A Liberal Standoff

If Marines built the border wall

Patron Saint of Chaos

This reminds me of the Saint Wirecutter prayer candle

WiscoDave made for me.

We're still not sure of what WC is the patron saint.

Little known medical facts

After he presented it to the medical board,

he was taken out behind

the lecture hall and beaten to death.

For me?!

Map of proposed border wall released by Trump administration

Shamelessly stolen, blah, blah, blah

English vs. Metric

This is Angel on drugs....

And probably why wirecutter won't party with me.

Not a single grabbable pussy

This just in: Reality is "unfair"

I don't know if this is a real, actual post

from a real, actual person, but I imagine

it's about as close to their sense of betrayal as you can get.

And it gives me a schadenboner (h/t AOSHQ).

If you get a craving for chicken

And that's why wirecutter isn't allowed back there

The origins of Democrats

Dogs have Mondays, too

Bless their little Liberal hearts

Get yer shit together, Ireland

Post-election pep talk for the Liberals

Just a few words to our screeching, distraught, and wholly self-absorbed Liberal co-citizens:

First, the words I heard and took to heart when your Lord and Savior Obama was elected not once, but twice: He won, get over it. President Donald J. Trump IS your President unless you want to move; and if you want to move, IM me. I'm available for packing and moving.

Second, to the screaming snowflakes: I know what's really ticking you off. Gone are the days of Free/The World Owes Me Everything. You're staring down the barrel of Reality. One of the things President Trump is known for is being a REALLY HARD WORKER. His kids are hard workers. His employees are hard workers. He values hard work. WORK. It's been a major theme of his, "Putting America back to work." And that doesn't mean whatever it was that you thought you were going to be doing with that Disgruntled Gender Fluid Studies degree you borrowed thousands of dollars to obtain. It means work, what made this Country Great. Building things, creating things, doing things. Busy, busy, busy. Too busy to sit around and whine and take endless selfies. "But this isn't what I want! I want to follow my BLISSSSSSS!" Fine, great, just understand that if there are no blissful jobs that pay enough to support your chosen lifestyle, We the People are not obligated to support you or create a position for you to fill.

Third, to the unbearably self-important screeching harpies of the Feminist movement: Guess what? 42% of American women voted for President Trump. Every single one of us has a uterus, ovaries and vagina. We are mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, girlfriends and single. We are professionals, blue collar, stay-at-home, entrepreneurs, and hopeful that a Trump administration will improve the working situation for all Americans. Because instead of identifying only as female reproductive organs, we identify as Americans. You don't want the government (or anyone really) to meddle in your pussy business? THEN STOP PUSHING YOUR PUSSIES IN OUR FACES. Trust me, we don't care about your pussies. I guarantee you, we want nothing to do with your pussies. But Freedom from meddling carries the burden of responsibility for your choices. You can't demand Freedom in one breath, and with the next demand Government (taxpayer) funded everything. That's like living with your parents rent free and then yelling about having to live by their rules. Oh, wait..... Anyway, Feminists, we don't care. We don't want to know what you do, who you do, how often you do, as long as we aren't held financially responsible for your irresponsible choices.

And lastly, to the working Americans, those who voted for Trump and those who didn't, those who are enthusiastic about the future and those who are cautiously skeptical but willing to give it a go, it's time to saddle up and ride. This is the dawn of American Rebirth.

Sec. of Def. General James "Mad Dog" Mattis

Proof that testosterone doesn't have an expiration date.

Just want to leave this right here

President Trump's Move! program

Now if he can just get them to "bend and reach" the trash cans.

Rare historical photographs

I'm sorry, sometimes you just have to go with silly.

It was the Great Dildo and Bong Uprising of 2017

The skirmish lasted 30 minutes before

the surviving rebels retreated to their safe spaces

for playdoh and juice boxes.

Who let a 14-year-old boy name the new mineral?

When PMS outruns the Midol

Damn, I'm going to miss this idiot