Monday, March 14, 2016

Coming of age

Well, that was fun.

When I take Max for his evening stroll, we only go down the street a ways, so I'm not worried about the chicks. How much trouble can they get into in 30 minutes? Yeah, I'm that stupid. Or I've been that lucky. Nope. Stupid.

We were returning for our walkies and heard Teen Queen's Cher album blaring from the garage. I'm thinking, "Oh shit, she's got the auxiliary turned on and listening to her tunes in the van." Mildly disturbing, but she's done it before. We hit the end of the driveway and I see the parking lights on and hear the engine running. "Oh FUCK!" I hit a sprint (yeah, big tits and all running like a rhino), and hit the garage in time to see her pop it into drive and bump the air compressor and work bench. (shut up, wirecutter, I don't want to hear it). Fortunately, TQ had the smarts to hit the brakes, but me screaming at her to unlock the door rattled her. She started crying and fumbling (later I remembered I had the other set of keys in my pocket. duh.) and finally hit the locks. Yanking the door open, putting it in park and turning it off, I became Poppy. "What the hell were you doing? YOU CAN'T DRIVE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY VAN!!!"

I don't have to tell you this is the wrong tack to take with a female teenager (she's actually almost 21). And if you've been reading my Autism posts, you know this is the way way WAY WRONG tack to take. But take it I did. We're both having meltdowns, her in the van, me outside in the garage. Max is cowering and having second thoughts about his new family. I finally came to my senses, closed the van door on her, closed the garage door, and came inside to finish calming down. About 15 minutes later, TQ came in the door crying. apologizing and shaking. At that point, I was still halfway between hugging her and choking her to death. And I'm really hoping the second or third Jack and Coke will calm my nerves.

So really, this was a coming of age for both of us. I sometimes don't see past the Autism to the young lady she is. The truth is she's very observant and brilliantly resourceful. She might one day be able to drive, just not reliably. So she's proven to me that she can get into all sorts of mischief when I'm gone, and I will no longer leave the van keys in an accessible spot.

FYI, she and Max are chilling on the couch watching "Home" on Netflix, and I'm on my third JD. No Coke in this one, those things will kill you.

12 comments:

Lisa Lane said...

Deep breaths darling. She is female...of course she is resourceful! She is YOUR daughter....she is especially equipped!! It will all be ok, and you are making me miss my friend Jack....; (

hiswiserangel said...

Sorry, Miss Lisa, I'll tell Jack you said hey!

Anonymous said...

Take her out in the middle of nowhere, a field or empty parking lot, and let her drive a little.

Anonymous said...

Too bad bumper cars aren't around anymore.

Unclezip said...

Years ago, I flew out for a business trip for a couple of weeks. When I got home, I climbed into my truck and fired it up. The CD player fired up and I got Pink doing that damned "I'm coming out" thing. The CD got ejected, and I threw it into my console. Never said a word. Fast forward a few years, when youngest spawn got her first car. She fired it up on her first morning for work, stopped the engine, and came back into the house, proclaiming "I don't listen to that stuff anymore Dad, but...nice move."

drjim said...

Thankfully nothing bad happened.

Jennifer said...

Sounds like no harm done, now that your heartrate has come down. I wonder if she wouldn't like to try a bit of driving, out in a field or parkinglot. But time to hide the keys, for sure...

pigpen51 said...

I thought Kenny was kidding when he made fun of your driving. Maybe it's just in your gene pool.

Volfram said...

"I am not mad that you [betrayed] me. I am mad that I can no longer trust you."

Anonymous said...

ummmm..."those things will kill you"...referring to Coke or kids??
I have been almost there, and done just about that...we all lived, and you and yours will too....hang in there, Mom....The Guardian Angels are still on the job.....


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mark said...

Install a discreet kill switch.

Put a toggle switch somewhere your left hand can work it without being obvious.

Her life and your are are worth saving....


Nightshift said...

Just started following your blog recently. Really enjoy it.I have friends with autistic children/adults. I am so amazed with there support of there children. My daughter is borderline on issues so I kind of know what you're going through. You will be blessed.