Aw, anon, I'm not dumb enough to think Disney eradicated alligators from their park waters and let my two-year old alligator bait go toddling through the soup in the dusky glow of the Florida sunset.
Any bets that the parents (from up north) were so engrossed in their phones, they never noticed they were in an environment that was conducive to an animal attack? A false sense of security fostered by Dizzyworld contributed to the death of that poor child.
And the gator was singing, "It's a small world after all..."
Geez, it's a body of water in Florida. Ponds, filled sinkholes, swamps, drainage canals, streams and rivers. Yep. So, let's see what we can find:
Alligators (they are everywhere) Water Moccasins (very poisonous and pissy snakes)(and they are everywhere) Deadly brain-killing amoeba (really, we have them)(any slow to stagnant body of water) Mosquitos (and all the diseases they carry) high levels of mercury (from the limestone)(mostly in dredged ponds, like at Disney, or abandoned limestone quarries) Boa Constrictors (so far mostly south of Orlando, but we're waiting)(and they are sneaky bastards) A host of other insect and bacteria players (lesser players, but just as dangerous) Creepy People (we're the dumping grounds of the east coast, lots of crazies down here) Florida Panther (don't laugh, saw one a year ago outside of Ocala) Florida Black Bear (remember the movie 'Gentle Ben'? it's about a florida black bear...) Hogs (we're not as bad as Texas, but we're getting there.)
It's Florida. Like Australia, but only 10% of the wildlife will kill you. So swim at your own risk. And 'Lighten up, Francis!'
Don't even get me started about going to the beaches...
Geez, if you can't laugh at pain, what can you laugh at.
I mean, like who the frack doesn't know that teeth people live in water. (Funny bit of info: Micronesian translation for shark is 'teeth people').
Yes it sucks that a child died, that a family is hurt and now broken, but the photo that inspired this little foray into social commenting is, well, funny as all hell, in a dark way, taken in the overall context of the situation.
Damn, man. Chill out. This is Angel's site. We expect to see and read sick, twisted and funny stuff here. After all, she is a blog-relative of Wirecutter. And she's a Ginger. If I wanted a pertinent whiny social commentary site I'd go to Hillary's website.
Angel, keep posting. Us sick people out here love this stuff. Thanks for posting, and being the sweet, wonderful, psychotic redhead that you are. Yay for you. You go, lady!
14 comments:
Dammit - I squirted milk out my nose.
Not funny. What if it was your special daughter? Get back on your meds.
But we must protect the non-endangered swamp lizard because... Environment.
It was just doing what it was supposed to do. It was Innocent. Innocent, I tell you.
#GatorLivesMatter
Aw, anon, I'm not dumb enough to think Disney eradicated alligators from their park waters and let my two-year old alligator bait go toddling through the soup in the dusky glow of the Florida sunset.
Any bets that the parents (from up north) were so engrossed in their phones, they never noticed they were in an environment that was conducive to an animal attack? A false sense of security fostered by Dizzyworld contributed to the death of that poor child.
And the gator was singing, "It's a small world after all..."
Geez, it's a body of water in Florida. Ponds, filled sinkholes, swamps, drainage canals, streams and rivers. Yep. So, let's see what we can find:
Alligators (they are everywhere)
Water Moccasins (very poisonous and pissy snakes)(and they are everywhere)
Deadly brain-killing amoeba (really, we have them)(any slow to stagnant body of water)
Mosquitos (and all the diseases they carry)
high levels of mercury (from the limestone)(mostly in dredged ponds, like at Disney, or abandoned limestone quarries)
Boa Constrictors (so far mostly south of Orlando, but we're waiting)(and they are sneaky bastards)
A host of other insect and bacteria players (lesser players, but just as dangerous)
Creepy People (we're the dumping grounds of the east coast, lots of crazies down here)
Florida Panther (don't laugh, saw one a year ago outside of Ocala)
Florida Black Bear (remember the movie 'Gentle Ben'? it's about a florida black bear...)
Hogs (we're not as bad as Texas, but we're getting there.)
It's Florida. Like Australia, but only 10% of the wildlife will kill you. So swim at your own risk. And 'Lighten up, Francis!'
Don't even get me started about going to the beaches...
This is beyond just bad taste. Uncaring and total lack of compassion.
Lighten up, Francis-JPD.
Geez, if you can't laugh at pain, what can you laugh at.
I mean, like who the frack doesn't know that teeth people live in water. (Funny bit of info: Micronesian translation for shark is 'teeth people').
Yes it sucks that a child died, that a family is hurt and now broken, but the photo that inspired this little foray into social commenting is, well, funny as all hell, in a dark way, taken in the overall context of the situation.
Damn, man. Chill out. This is Angel's site. We expect to see and read sick, twisted and funny stuff here. After all, she is a blog-relative of Wirecutter. And she's a Ginger. If I wanted a pertinent whiny social commentary site I'd go to Hillary's website.
Angel, keep posting. Us sick people out here love this stuff. Thanks for posting, and being the sweet, wonderful, psychotic redhead that you are. Yay for you. You go, lady!
I love it
Okay so it's too soon for Dunkin' Disney jokes?
Wow... shameless.
Lisa for the WIN!
THANK YOU ANDREW! *BLUSHING*
ummm,AND...I think my grandson would LOVE that...where can I get one?
vaquero viejo
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