I mentioned the number of dudes whining about a little finger up the butt once a year and proceeded to share what I and millions of women go through once a year. It went a little something like this:
Oh for the love of God and all that's Holy. You know what I've done every year since I was 18? Had one of these:
slathered with enough KY to lube a semi and shoved up my whoo-haw, jacked open like the mother-loving jaws of life and a little scraper shoved in there to scrape off a sample of cervical cells. 30 years and counting.
Y'all need to suck it up with the whole "Oh, the mean doctor put his finger up my ass."
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN???!!!
Just pointing out what whiny little babies you dudes are.
"Wah! I got a finger in my butt!"
Suck it up, Buttercup. Until you're laying on the exam table wearing nothing but a paper cape, with a dude wearing a miner's headlamp telling you to "just let your knees fall open naturally and relax," before stabbing you with a metal speculum that's been kept in the fridge overnight, you've got nothing to bitch about.
Oh, that just got you banned for a week!
Banned from what? The internet?
From....from....yeah, the internet. Turn your shit off.
And from there it spiraled into general name-calling and profanity.
The point is, I don't enjoy the annual pelvic and pap smear, but momentary discomfort is a small price to pay. I've known women who had cervical and uterine cancers. Not pretty.
You guys need to go do your prostate exams. A little discomfort once a year can save you a world of hurt later on.
Oh, and go donate a couple of bucks to Kilted to Kick Cancer HERE. Remember, $5 gets you entered to win THIS.