Saturday, August 1, 2015

Don't eat all the meat.


Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with Boone county resident, Audrey Ranch, 62, to stop hurting her son’s pit bull, but she refused.
“Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” a witness said. “Pedro hightailed it screeching like a wild Indian and when I tried to subdue Audrey, she knocked me out with an old tricycle.”
Realizing the police had been called and knowing she had time to hide (it is a 45 minute drive to her house), Mrs. Ranch cut off a length of garden hose, dug a hole and had her son help bury her. She used the garden hose as a breathing apparatus.
Officers from the Boone County Sheriff’s Office arrived, unburied Ranch and arrested her without incident.
Ranch explained her actions to police: “My son ate all the meat and I had warned him if he ate all the meat, I’d eat his dog.”
The dog underwent emergency surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. Ranch is facing charges of aggravated animal cruelty.
http://grinanbearit.com/woman-attested-for-biting-off-pit-bulls-testicles/

6 comments:

Volfram said...

Seems to me it was unnecessary to arrest her. In the meantime, I need you to help me drain the septic tank into that hose sticking up out of the ground over there.

J Bogan said...

Just connect the hose to the faucet... Easy enough...

Some peoples parents.

rickn8or said...

Fuckin' Ridge-Runners, I swear...

wirecutter said...

Boone County, home of Jesco White and the rest of that clan.
Watch "The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia" sometime. Have a good buzz on when you do. An added bonus is Hank III does the music in it.

John Varga said...

I think she'd be bad ass enough to take on Rhonda Rousy

Angel eyes said...

Hank III. Good stuff.