Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I may have to print some of these to hand out


I would like to take a minute and set the record straight.
In spite of what wirecutter would have you believe, I'm a very good driver.
In 33 years of driving, I've had 3 accidents.
None were my fault.
I've had 2 speeding tickets, both in the momvan.
I've never parked like a douche.

11 comments:

Sarthurk said...

Oh I believe you.

I have been blessed with little more than a blown C5/6 disc from a drunk driver, and a MC glancing blow from a kid in the middle of the road with a cell phone in his hand, that has left my left shoulder in pain perpetually.

My last traffic violation was not long after you started driving. I fought it in court and won. 1989. Oh, I have been stopped since. I was speeding past the Cop shop in the local town I have to drive through to get to work, and the cop asked for the usual 3 things. He came back in a minute and ripped me a new one for not mentioning that I had a CC permit. He got so mad, that he forgot to give me a ticket for speeding! HooYaa!

Unclezip said...

Sometimes I have to park like a douche. I drive a full-size pickup, and a lot of parking areas are getting narrower, or are doing the "compact only" crap. If my truck takes up 1 1/2 spots, so be it. Oh, and I'm a good enough driver that I don't have to back in...

Anonymous said...

I own a building in our town that is subdivided; one half is my business and the other bit is rented out to a bank.

In the first year the bank was in the building the same individual failed to break properly and hit the building. The next summer I put in a raised deck out front of the building and less than a day after I got the railings up the same idiot drove through them onto the deck (8' wide) and hit the building.

The next week I installed raised flower beds in front of the deck and a few weeks later I heard a crunch and then tires spinning. So and went out to see and the same moron had his bumper stuck on the flower bed and his tires off the ground, he was gunning it and spinning them but they were off the ground.

I called the cops and told them I though there was what I "assumed" was a drunk high centered on my flower bed. Two cruisers showed up and that is when I got in trouble.

I knew the guy who kept hitting my building was a cop... because he kept doing it in his cruiser.

Exile1981

Anonymous said...

We were in Las Vegas a few weeks ago and I swear EVERYONE backs in there. Can you explain why? I was at a loss as to why they all had to do it.

-CM

Anonymous said...

CM, I can't back in in every situation,but I have been backing into my space(dead center in my space, Angel One) at work for years....simple answer, I usually have more time to park than I do when I leave...easier, and safer, to drive out than back out...next question.....

vaquero viejo

J Bogan said...

I used to drive a windowless van. I would back into spaces simply because I could not see well to the sides, and backing into moving traffic just seemed like asking for trouble. Especially with the herd of "New Americans" around here.... Their prior driving experience likely involved mules...

hiswiserangel said...

CM, I back in or pull through facing out for one reason only, a quick getaway.

Anonymous said...

I'm in the habit now of always backing. When you work at the facilities I work at backing in is a rule. In an emergency everyone needs out asap and if you have to back outit takes too long.

Exile1981

Anonymous said...

check old photos. la times from the thirties show 100% nose out parking in downtown parking lots

Anonymous said...

Someone please make up a version of this and put it on this site for the rest of us to use. Please?

Lazarus Long

Anonymous said...

Thanks everyone. I usually will pull through, and sometimes back in if I think it'll be more hassle to back out when I'm leaving, but I just had no idea why there was such a prevalence in Las Vegas. And a decent number of them weren't even good at it, you couldn't use the space next to them because of how poorly they did it!

-CM