Happy Birthday, Wirecutter!

It's the 55th birthday of our own Elder statesman of the III% Patriot movement. I had hoped to procure some baby pictures to post, but wc's mom is very loyal (scared shitless) and politely refused to cough 'em up. She did, however, dangle THE PICTURE before me for a few days before denying me the pleasure of posting it. Her description: his first birthday party and he's only wearing a party hat. Okie dokie then. ~grinning maniacally~ ANY picture of wc wearing a party hat would be golden. But a pic of baby wirecutter au naturale in a party hat? I WANT TO BE THE PERSON TO POST THAT. Maybe next year. I'll try to find her sweet spot and work it.

But I was pondering the Patriots I've come to know over the last couple of years and wondered how they measured age-wise to the original Founding Fathers. Here are their ages, July 4, 1776:

Marquis de Lafayette, 18
James Monroe, 18
Gilbert Stuart, 20
Aaron Burr, 20
Alexander Hamilton, 21
Betsey Ross, 24
James Hamilton, 25

How are we doing? Everybody feeling old? Need a break? Pushing into the 30s and 40s:

Thomas Jefferson, 33
John Adams, 40
Paul Revere, 41
George Washington, 44
Samuel Adams, 53

Now we're getting closer, but wirecutter is still older by a long shot. There is hope, though.

Benjamin Franklin, a robust 70 on July 4, 1776, makes wc look like a pup. And then there is the oldest recorded participant, Samuel Whittemore, who at the tender age of 80, kicked some British ass in one of the earliest skirmishes. Whittemore reminds me so much of Poppy.

So Very Happy Birthday to my favorite Knuckledragger. You ain't dead yet, and you still need to write the damn book.

Info compiled and posted by kottke.org