Friday, December 9, 2016

Dear God, please make it stop

I've not quite figured out the ins and outs of being a small(ish) dog owner. I mean, he gets groomed more often than I get my hair cut. And grooming basically involves shaving his fur off, leaving just his eyebrows, mustache and beard. It's a little like a Playboy bunny in earmuffs, mittens and boots. Decorative, but hardly helpful.

So we shave his natural insulation off until he's shivering like an epileptic chihuahua at temperatures below 40, and then we go to PetSmart and buy him clothes. I never in a million years thought I'd be one of those dog owners that dress up their dogs. I mean, can you see wirecutter putting argyle sweaters on Charliegoddammit? No? Me neither. But there I am, perusing sweaters, sweatshirts, and coats, looking for the least emasculating garments for my very masculine Schnauzer. This is one of the choices. (I reluctantly put the one with the squirrel on it back on the rack). He's thrilled.


7 comments:

Cederq said...

Living up here in the wilds of South Dakota now, I have to find sweaters for my tough little chihuahua female because of the extreme cold here and she gives me those looks too. I have never treated her as a toy and she takes on much bigger dogs and kicks asses and takes names. Helps that her name is Guido...

Rob said...

Stop cutting his hair in the winter? Accept it's your new hobby & don't worry about it?

crow said...

"masculine Schnauzer"?
Isn't that also known as a "Bull Dyke"? ;)

Anonymous said...

he is wondering what next will you torture him with

Wildflower

Anonymous said...

small, winsome dogs will do that to you, Wise Angel One...and as with other addictions, you should seek out a support group..."Women with small, egocentric dogs"


vaquero viejo

John Varga said...

Get a clipper and start experimenting with fur styles. Could be fun

wirecutter said...

I groom Legal Lucy myself in the summer but I just let her shit go in the winter. She's still got a little fleece lined coat though.