My dearest "bosom buddy" Sara from Meeniesohtah (seriously, if you think my rack is impressive, you should see hers) sent me a wonderful Christmas present this year. A lovely pair of gloves after I admitted I had one glove of 5 pairs, a Minion ornament (hanging from the rearview mirror of the momvan) and a DeerFuck hat. I swear to God and all that's Holy, this is the warmest thing I've ever owned or ever will own. It's magical and oh so stylish. I happened to open the box in front of mom and Poppy who were over visiting and who just got through ranting about the hooligans who rearranged their mechanical lighted reindeer into an orgy. I pulled it out of the box and donned it without looking closely. Modeling for my folks, mom gasped and dissolved into giggles and Poppy, well, Poppy just growled "Good God, what next."
Thank you, Miss Sara!
I'm the most stylish doofus in my little Texas town!