Now dudes can work out in just about anything without major difficulty; but women, especially if they're endowed with more than a B cup, must endure the torture of a good sports bra. I know a lot of bodacious women who resort to the double-bra move, but really that isn't the answer. Two mediocre sports bras layered is just mediocrity doubled. You have to have a GOOD SPORTS BRA. So let's talk about that, shall we?
A good decorative bra supports without baffling the movement of the breasts. Keep the girls in line without stifling their creativity, ya know? A little jiggle when you wiggle. Think of a GOOD SPORTS BRA as a maximum security straight jacket for bat-shit crazy breasts. Maximum support, minimal motion. Actually a really good sports bra will take a 36D and cram those puppies into a 34B with absolutely NO spillage. Don't ask me how it defies the laws of physics and mass conservation, the boobs are still there even if you can't see them.
So getting a 36D into a 34B by yourself is like trying to put size 2 jeans on Oprah Winfrey's ass. I'm absolutely positive I burn 1/3 of my workout calories just getting into the damned sports bra. By the time the girls are contained, I'm sweating and breathing hard and my arm muscles are shaking with the effort. Then it's time for the workout, tonight it's 30 minutes on the elliptical (400 cal workout), 30 on the treadmill, and 20 minutes of Brazilian Butt Lift's BumBum Rapido. Estimated calorie burn: 1100. Then another 100 calories getting OUT of the sports bra. There is something about sweat (I have no delusions that what I do is "perspire", sorry Nanna Doris) that turns spandex into glue. If you don't get the bra off immediately, you're screwed.
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| lululemon ta ta tamer |
I have been wearing the lululemon ta ta tamer sports bra (yes, that's it's REAL name, look it up), but I found one recommended by everyone's favorite busty redhead, Christina Hendricks. With 11 hook and eyes down the front, the Enell sports bra is so much easier going on and coming off than the ta ta tamer. Tonight is it's maiden voyage, so to speak. I'll let y'all know how it holds up.
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| Enell sports bra~SEXAY |
Yeah, dudes, I know they aren't as sexy as the lingerie and corsettes, but hey, no pain, no gain.
Breaking News:
At 4mph and 3.5 incline, running to Tom Petty's "American Girl", the Enell held fast. No black eyes, no concussion. And, oh my God, I didn't have to fight like a banshee to get the sucker off! There is something a little naughty in undoing the hook and eyes, releasing the girls bit by bit, instead of struggling and grunting trying to get it the fuck off. I'm with Christina Hendricks on this one, great fit and I felt like a superhero in it.
12 comments:
model it :)
bob b
Ah, bob b, it has all the sex appeal of a 1950s Sears catalog bra. I'm sure you don't want to see that. ;-)
Lordy, if that's not the truth! Women who grimmace while they're working out are doing so because of the sports bra!
Miss V
Growing up all us young boys had was Sears catalog. I remember when Nat geo went color. Thought we'd made the promise land. Go ahead Im ready for it. :) lol
bob b
Tell ya what bob, I'll model the Tequila Sunrise Ta Ta Tamer tomorrow. Damned illiteration.
Alrighty
bob b
Exercise nekkid
-K
K,
Yeeee-aaaaahhhhh....NO. Then your bodacious tatas alternate slapping you silly and getting caught in the treadmill. Ugly.
Angel
ps
I do like to swim nekkid. Does that count?
Miss V,
I heartily endorse this sports bra, a little pricey, but it didn't try to strangle me or hold my girls hostage. Easy on and off, and practically unnoticeable during workout.
Maybe I can get them to sponsor my blog for some bras.
Angel
Hon, take it from me Metallica is the best music for busting you behind. When I worked piecework, I'd put in Metallica and made lots of money, I suggest the CD Load #1, I think that's the name, if not I'll update tomorrow.
Sorry your sore, glad your hitting it hard.......;)
Yep. Wifey has to wear major league ta-ta-tamers when she runs. Not only does it keep them from beating her to death, it also helps keep them from becoming kneecap decorations.
The swim nekkid thing works great, too.
Mark12A,
Have the wifey check out the Enell, a little pricey, but it's an amazing bra, and it won't fall apart after a few runs and washes. Got to keep the girls in the upright and locked positions, right?
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