Thursday, January 8, 2015

This is soooo me


I haven't held an outside job in 19 years. My last occupation was Communications Instructor at a little college in New Mexico. I was 25. In the four years as an educator, I married and had the Teen Queen, and discovered TQ needed to be closer to specialists and therapists. So left that career and become MOM. This isn't saying I haven't worked in 19 years (although my spouse would argue), just that I haven't done anything for money (sounds really bad) for two decades. Although, I guess that could be argued, too. 

So circumstances have me looking at my hireability. Seriously, what can I do for a living? I can get my teaching certification, or look at yet another Master's Degree, but one more marketable. I could look at vocations, something with a shorter training period. I could do internet porn. (just kidding....I think.) What it boils down to is a resume with a 19-year gap, no interview skills and a squadron of killer butterflies. I'll probably go to the interview, exit into a closet, realize that's a pretty good place to hide, and refuse to come out unless they hire me. 

Stay tuned for more fun and antics...

17 comments:

wirecutter said...

I hear they're hiring leather mistresses down at Spanky's.

hiswiserangel said...

BANNED.

Steve said...

I like the porn idea. Anyone else? Is this open to voting?

Anonymous said...

Angle,
Taking 19 years off to take care of priorities (TQ & BQ) speaks volumes. When the job is right, you'll be a shoe-in. Screw the rest of 'em.
May the wind be at your back.

You already have good luck.

rsj said...

Maybe some certifications? Welding or CNA?(welding would pay better I thinkg)

Or, possibly, get your certs for computer stuff? On Borepatch's blog he had several posts about getting Cisco certs very cheaply.

Good luck!

Angel eyes said...

Good things have been known to happen in supply closets.

wirecutter said...

Banned?
HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Have you found the midget porn in your archived comments yet?

hiswiserangel said...

Fuck. It's like trying to ban smoke. How are you still stealth commenting?

wirecutter said...

I don't even have to do the captha thing any more. Now it automatically says 'You're not a robot' as soon as I open the window to comment.

See?

auman58 said...

It would help if you were a black woman, but a vagina is definitely a plus these days. I can see CEO.

Anonymous said...

Inside or outside work ? Living in Texas, outside work can be awfully hot. Some really prefer it though, some of my buddys thinks its therapeutic. Personally, I think they are brain fried, lol.

Phlebotomy (think I spelled that right) is pretty quick and easy training. EMT would be useful in ANY economy or locale, you should be hireable. I hear the hours are pretty unstable though.

Steve_in_CA said...

Well, you taught at one time, look at the small private schools in your area. I am not sure about Texas, but they usually do not require certifation. They don't pay as well as public schools and the benefits are less, at least here in Commifornia, but at the right private school, you won't need to deal with the gang bangers in training.

BWBandy said...

Update your resume. Then have someone review it. Public libraries are good for referring you to someone totally arms length to review your resume. Then start handing it out to friends, acquaintances, whoever you can pester for a referral. Jobs often come from the unlikeliest places.

wirecutter said...

BWBandy - The only job I've ever gotten through traditional means is the one I have right now. The rest of them were through tips and friends.

show me one socialist success in world history said...

Yes, #1 resume.
2- contact staffing offices
3- job fairs, go to em, meet people, talk
4- put resume on google drive for easy & immediate access
5- medical related jobs from recep. to ofc mgr to lab tech are almost always wanting
6- ADP great co, always hiring it seems
7- make sure everyone you know and everyone you come into contact with knows you are looking for an opportunity
8- Best of Luck, you'll do fine!

BWBandy said...

@ Wirecutter. Agreed. Practically all of mine have been through non-traditional means. My attitude is to not be afraid to lean on people you know to help get a job.

VonZorch said...

Just a few things you have done in the last 19 years; budget and financial management, supply chain management, task scheduling. Get creative, also use a professional resume writer, you would be amazed what they can come up with.