In spite of the superfluous "the", I see what you did there

Well, it is "A" roach

Southern Pecan Praline Bourbon Balls

A variation on the Rum Balls below:

Ingredients:
12 oz of Pecan Sandies
1 cup butterscotch chips
1/4 cup dark corn syrup
3/4 cup Kentucky Bourbon (don't get cheap on me)
1 cup + confectioner's sugar

Directions:
Same as below.
For decor, push a pecan half in the top of each ball.
Or don't.

This is going to have to wait until I get wheels back and make it to Ed's. Funny, but the bourbon has seemed to disappear.....

Yeah, so I was bored

With no car, stuck in a small town, isn't too bad. I can walk to the grocery store (when I say "the grocery store", I mean the ONLY grocery store) and really anywhere else except Ed's Liquors which is on Hwy 60 and a bit of a walk. But I got stuck in the house yesterday with freezing sleeting snowing raining howling winds fucking weather, and decided to play with what I have on hand.

So, voila! Vanilla rum cherry rum balls, 6 ingredients that just about everyone has on hand.
Yes, I have vanilla rum on hand, don't judge me.

Ingredients:

1 jar of maraschino cherries, drained and soaked overnight in vanilla rum
(you can buy it, I make my own)*
1 12 oz box of Nilla wafers
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup light corn syrup
3/4 cup vanilla rum (just use the rum from the cherries)
1 cup confectioner's sugar (more for coating)

Directions:

1. Place vanilla wafers in food processor and create fine crumbs. Or put in a ziplock freezer bag and beat the hell out of them.
2. Heat chocolate chips and corn syrup together in sauce pan over low heat. Cook, stirring often, until chocolate is melted and smooth, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in 1 cup confectioner's sugar and rum until smooth. Fold in cookie crumbs, dough will be sticky.
3. Place saucepan in refrigerator until dough is firm and easy to roll, about 15 minutes. Cover 2 plates with waxed paper, dust with confectioner's sugar.
4. Encase a drunk cherry in dough and roll into a ball, place on prepared plates. Continue until you run out of cherries and/or dough. If you have excess cherries, they're great in Cuba Libres, if you have excess dough, make plain rum balls.
5. Refrigerate until firm, about 20 minutes.
6. Remove balls from fridge and put in a ziplock with extra sugar, seal and shake until all balls are thoroughly coated.

These are really good 2-3 days later. Store in fridge, pull out 30 minutes before serving to get to room temp. Go easy, especially on the cherry ones. Just a couple will do the trick.

* Vanilla Rum recipe
1 liter good quality light rum
5 vanilla pods
Simple syrup if desired

Gently slit the pods down the middle, opening slightly. Place in bottle of rum and screw the lid back on. This is where it gets hard. Place bottle in a dark cool place and leave it there for 2-3 months. Give bottle a gentle shake now and then to distribute the infusion. If you trust yourself, you can do a taste test after a couple of months to check for desired flavor.  The longer you leave it, the stronger the vanilla taste. You can add simple syrup to taste if you want a sweeter rum, but I never do.

Shit happens

I'm not picking it up.

Oopsie daisy! Nice panties, Nancy.

Want. No, NEED!

j

This would be in the courtyard between my main house

and the separate Library/Gun room.

Somebody upgraded their wand

Because wirecutter never reads my blog

And he'll be soooooo mad he missed this one.

Quite possibly the BEST cosplay ever

At least the momvan isn't on fire

Dammit, Carl, getting real tired of your shit.

Another reason to love Ted Cruz

Yes, he's probably the smartest candidate running for the Republican nomination. Yes, he is truly a Constitutional expert who, as Texas Solicitor General, argued 9 cases before the Supreme Court winning 5.  Yes, he's a staunch Conservative and Constitutional absolutist. But he's also a fan of The Princess Bride.

https://youtu.be/qVCkPRK6OqU

And now there's this

Dodging tornadic thunderstorms.

About ready to stand on the deck and let it take me.

FML

Yeah, I said it. Fuck. My. Life.

Coming home from birthday dinner with folks, the Check Engine Soon light came on in the momvan. How festive. It idles like shit, hard to start, easy to die, but once you get some gas to it, it smooths out a bit. Took it to our handy dandy local mechanic who was going to get the codes, but guess what? His code reader doesn't ready older than 2000. Missed it by 5 years. So trying again tomorrow with an older borrowed code reader and some suggestions from Jesse in DC as to possible causes. May be without a vehicle for a few days, but the Cute Chicks can ride the bus to school. No biggie. Just a few hundred dollars and a few more ulcers.

On the way out to the garage, I go through the laundry room and hear an ominously familiar hissing coming from the hot water heater. Get the closet cover off (Gerry rigged double wide) and find an Old Faithful spewing forth from the hot water line at the tank connection. Cut the power to it, turned off the water at the main (after showering and getting Teen Queen showered) and started draining the tank to eliminate other leaks. Nope. Just the one. So, without wheels, I have to do what I hate doing, and call someone to come fix what I can easily fix myself. A quick call to Frank's Repair Plumbing (the guys drive pink white and black service trucks) and we're on the call list for tomorrow morning. A few hundred more, handful of gray hair, and I think my ulcer sprang a leak.

I'm popping antacids like M&Ms and thinking I really wished I had some of wirecutter's magic Xanax pills. I don't even have any of Mother Nature's natural stress reliever (not that I ever did, Poppy.)

So, yeah.

Fuck. My. Life.