Tuesday, December 30, 2014

If wirecutter had a throne

Oh shit

Okay, can someone please explain to me how to do this?


I haven't had a lot of reasons to laugh lately. As a matter of fact, I've been pretty damned morose and unfit for keeping company with you good folks; so I've been keeping my distance, drinking distilled spirits and licking my wounds. Plotting and planning and trying to figure out how to survive a seismic shift in my reality. Sadly, I haven't come up with anything really workable, but I blame Jameson's.

So when I came across this last night and did more than grimace, I knew I needed to share. I now have an uncontrollable desire to wave at midgets.

Okay, maybe I won't be a CCL

Angel as Catwoman

Friday, December 26, 2014

I love Brit humour

"Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off, Shake it off."
Taylor Swift

Thursday, December 25, 2014

A little Christmas music.

Well, the egg nog is mostly gone, drinking straight rum and counting down to Sunday. One more "family" thing to do tomorrow and then prepping spouse for a south Texas run. Not a long one, but a few blissful days of quiet, uninterrupted by a running commentary of all the neat shit we need to buy off of Craigslist. Have I mentioned how much I hate Craigslist? Yeah....

Okay, rum and Coke. Merry Christmas, y'all.

Wirecutter was NOT amused

But does he ignore it? No.
Does he quietly threaten my very existence? Well, yeah, he did, but....
He also linked it on his blog, driving my numbers to insane heights.
Thanks, wc!

Oh, those crazy Scots

When my inner geek gets OCD

But in my mind, I'm chanting, "159265358979323846264338...."

Depends on where you hang it

Another take on Christmas

~borrowed from Keads' Facebook page~

A blessed Christmas to all y'all!

May each and every one of you be wrapped in the warmth and love of friends and family.
Keep a spark of the Christmas Spirit in your hearts as you travel through the New Year.
Be kind, compassionate, and ever vigilant.
Know I consider you all to be part of my Tribe, and you have my love.


Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas Eve!

And I heard her exclaim, as she drove off with glee,
"Merry Christmas to all!
But especially to me!"

Dear Santa,

I know this will land me on the Naughty List for a long time, but WiscoDave made me do it.



Dear wirecutter,

Love you!


Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Joyful! Joyful!

Something to help us get in the mood. 
I think I posted it last Christmas, but it's still just as lovely.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

Longest running discrimination

Forget racism, sexism, ageism. Let's talk about gingerism. Since Ancient Greece, redheads have been picked on by the colorless masses. I think it's time to rise up and strike back. Gingers unite!

Kansas, could have sworn it was Oklahoma

I don't care what his fucking name is

Sunday, December 21, 2014

A Christmas Earworm

Oh, give me a home...

Yeah, pretty much THIS

Friday night, my body tried to eliminate itself through my gut and mouth. This has been the WORST season for sickness in the Angel household. We've been passing it around like a 20-year-old fruitcake. I've lost 19 pounds in the month of December, 5 pounds Friday night and Saturday morning alone. My back, chest and tummy muscles feel like they've been stretched out and beaten like an old rug. Breathing is a new adventure in pain. You ever puke so hard, you gasp for air and suck puke up into your nasal cavity? My head felt like fire for a few hours. About 4 a.m yesterday, I was praying for death.

The Cute Chicks are now down with it. Not as bad for them as their last bout, but still not Merry. I'm pushing fluids and vitamin C. We were supposed to make Christmas cookies and candy this weekend, but I'm pretty sure that's a wash. Plans are to pack up and head for my folks' for Christmas Eve, but it all depends on who hasn't died yet. I haven't heard from them yet, I'm hoping they've been spared. 

So yeah, have a Christmas, y'all.

Reason #63 Why I love men

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Pretty please?

Meanwhile in Australia...

PC winter season greeting

Dear All....At this time of the year it’s difficult to know what to say without offending someone. So I've checked with my legal adviser and on his advice I wish to say the following to all friends and colleagues.
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Great Britain is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced
Yours with love (bearing the above in mind) and sincere best wishes.

Stop, just stop it already.

I was in TJMaxx buying undies, and was assaulted by a registered support dog in a bona fide orange vest. I was on one side of the racks looking at bras, and its human was on the other side perusing thongs. It had wandered underneath to the extent of it's pink leather leash and was chewing on my utterly filthy shoe strings. I pulled away, butt sticking out as I leaned forward to continue shopping, feet safely out of reach; then the little shit started growling at me. The following exchange occurred:

"Ma'am, can you please control your dog?"
"She is a licensed emotional support dog, she has every right to be in here."
"Yes, but Princess Shitball doesn't have a right to attack people and shit in the floor."
"Buttons! Stop this instant!"
~Buttons ignores her tiny steaming pile of political promises and starts chewing on a purple thong.~
"She's obviously highly trained. What does she do? Annoy the fuck out of people and give you a break?"
"You're infringing on my rights! I NEED Buttons for emotional support! Where is the manager?"
"Look, I'm sorry you're so emotionally unstable that you can't leave the house without your status symbol, but you really need to have better control. That's all I'm saying."

By this time, Buttons had wrecked a $20 thong, shit on the floor and was looking for more trouble. The manager showed up, listened to a tearful tale of woe and oppression, and issued an order.

"Ma'am, you have two options: pick up your dog's shit and leave, or pick up your dog's shit and keep your animal in your bag while you're in the store. That first part isn't optional, and you need to pay for the damaged merchandise."
"But I don't have anything to pick it up and she'll chew on my new Louis Vuitton wallet!"
"Neither of those is my problem."

He walked away to applause and her vows never to shop there again. I believe I will.

So, just for reference:
NOT a real service dog.

Real service dog

It's all about racism

I just love this! Only 1000+ views?! Make it go viral.

Christmas at Crazy Uncle Bubba's

Danish dilemma