Friday, December 30, 2016

Thought it was a cocktail, haven't coughed since 2012

I'm sick

Woke up 4 am Thursday, intestinal explosions, fever, aches, chills, general plague. Not getting better. Just puked on Max, dammit when I say move, MOVE, and he ate it. I'm so done. Here, words. Enjoy.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Well, that's a different definition of "orgy"

Ain't it the truth?

I think the only one that really hit me hard was Glenn Frey.
He was my "sexual awakening";
the first time my pink bulbous parts started tingling in response to a boy.
And oh boy!
I wanted to wade barefoot and nekkid through that hair.

This is my wake up call. I'm older, down-side of 50.
Carrie Fisher was just 10 years older than me.
I've got a lot of living to catch up on, huh?

One of my most annoying traits

2017 can't come fast enough

Carrie Fisher, age 60, latest victim of 2016

Four more days, who's next?

All of us women with "great personalities"

It doesn't matter if your layers are lop-sided 
and your frosting is a mess, 
you know in your heart if they'd just take a bite, 
they'd know how delicious you are. 
Rock on with your messy frosting and unravel the universe!

Just so y'all know I have no resolution to change

Why can't our CeLIBritards be this convicted?

Let's play Photo Caption

"It's okay, sweetie, I'll walk you to your "safe space"."

Saturday, December 24, 2016

That quirky mix of horny and homicidal

Dolly Parton's Imagination Library

When the girls were young, we were broker than the 10 Commandments. We couldn't even pay attention on time. But books and reading have always been important to my family, and thank God mom kept all of my childhood books up in the attic. Fourteen boxes of books from Dr. Seuss to Trixie Belden. The Cute Chicks have always loved to be read to, and now they grab books on their own. Until Baby Queen got her iPad, we didn't know she could read. She has tactile sensory issues and hates the feel and sound of turning pages; with the iPad, she breezes through books. We found out she's reading on an 8th grade level, basically self-taught.

Please spread this far and wide, for families who can't afford to buy books. Dolly Parton has established this program to make sure all children have their very own library.

Register HERE

Merry Christmas Eve!

"And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and prancing wirecutter reindeer..."

This is a perennial favorite from the twisted mind of WiscoDave.
If I'm going down, I'm taking him with me.