Friday, June 1, 2018

Rules for Acceptable Behavior of Conservatives

After the last few kerfuffles where someone said something that made the collective internet heads spin, I wanted to see if there was any rhyme or reason to why some people get in trouble and others don't. I've asked the few Liberals who still talk to me online and have received stunning silence. Apparently, pointing out that, when it comes to Conservatives, Liberals want neither justice nor fairness makes them uncomfortable.

Since the Liberals won’t give us a list of Acceptable Behavior for Conservatives, I’m going to start compiling one based on observations. Be warned, this list is arbitrary and subject to change at their whim.

1. It is acceptable to attack a Conservative woman’s appearance. It is NOT acceptable to say anything whatsoever about a Liberal person’s appearance (I didn’t want to assume zer’s gender).

This is okay.
This is NOT okay.

2. It is acceptable to compare a white Conservative to an ape/chimp/orangutan.

3. It is only acceptable to compare a Black person to an ape/chimp/orangutan if it’s another Black person doing it. Extra points if it’s a Black Liberal attacking a Black Conservative.

4. It is NEVER acceptable to assume anyone’s gender/race/species. Always ask them to provide you with a list of acceptable descriptors.

5. The only Caucasian of value is one who is Liberal and deeply ashamed of their appalling lack of melanin. Even then, they are merely viewed as useful idiots.

Please feel free to add more as you encounter them.