Sunday, November 23, 2014

Bite me, wirecutter! I WAS RIGHT!


A recent study at Harvard University entirely debunks the popular notion that leggings are pants. Such a firm conclusion was slightly unexpected, according to the study’s authors. “Clearly a hybrid of tights and trousers,” lead researcher Deborah Collins commented, “leggings retained the real possibility of falling on the ‘pants’ side of the dividing line between these two types of clothing.”
Indeed, early in the research process, Collins and her partner in the study, Martin Hilfiger of Boston University (no relation to the fashion mogul), hypothesized that leggings might, in fact, be pants, due to the apparently endless number of women that he encountered daily on the streets of Boston and Cambridge, wearing t-shirts over partially opaque leggings, often with the seeming declaration, “Panty-lines be damned!”
I've been saying it, been saying it for years! Leggings are NOT pants! Sure, there is a very small percentage of the female population that looks good in LAPs (leggings as pants), but when you open that door, look what walks through:

Do you really think one cute ass in leggings is worth hundreds of these running amok?! I think NOT!

BAN LAPS NOW!!!!!

Stolen from Miss Abby's facebook page

12 comments:

WiscoDave said...

In his defense, Harvard has published several studies that are nothing more than unmitigated crap. I'm not saying that that applies here...

Sarthurk said...

"several" studies? How about trillions of $$$ in bullshit studies.

Able said...

I had a German Master at Grammar School (and doesn't that show how old I am) who used to quite happily discuss popular culture and sex instead of forcing a bunch of recalcitrant boys to conjugate vowels.

His opinion, which we all found entirely unbelievable at the time, was that the suggestion rather the blatant display was 'more titillating' (his words).

My mucho macho side would like to answer “is one cute ass in leggings worth ... ” with, not only yes, but Hell yes! But …. I think I see his point now – does this mean I'm old, past it, due for the knackers yard?

Personally I think the wearing of leggings by certain 'gravitationally challenging' ladies is probably driving the materials science researchers to new highs – do you have any idea the kind of stress they're under, and tensile strength needed to 'restrict' such generous glutes?

Much as the old saw of using the material that they make black boxes (and that doll that always survives, or the wheel/tyre which unfailingly rolls out of, any and all crashes/explosions) to build the whole plane with. I think if we can get them to mass produce sufficient of the material they make 'larger ladies leggings' from then the space elevator is a done deal.

(My suggestion to body armour manufacturers that they offer a jello version SAPI plate because “did 'you' ever see a round that made it 'all' the way through the ballistic gel?” fell on stony ground for some reason. I was all set to patent the torso moulds, and offer a free application [lime flavoured] to the ladies too).

hiswiserangel said...

"Gravitationally challenged", Able.
You should have spent more time conjugating.

Cederq said...

Is that an eye patch on ol' cottage cheesed ass? Is she trying to be a pirate? arrgghh aarrgghhh fart.... gives a whole new meaning...

Anonymous said...

All good arguments but please remember, without LAPs, the good folks over at the People Of Walmart site wouls surely go hungry.

Dapandico said...

Harvard? 0bama is an alumni. Farook Harvard.

fjord said...

Leggings make great longunderwear. Warmer than anything sold for women ( men's are warm but have extra material *crotch*. ) and since they are tight they keep wool socks from rolling down.
-fashion advice from farmwife who actually works outside in all weather conditions.

Chief Nose Wetter said...

She is so big when she hauls ass she must need to make two trips

Ian Restil said...

Angel, while you are grammatically correct, I hypothesize that Able is stating, in the larger contextual sense, that some things impede conjugating, if not actually anti-conjugal.

;-)

Anonymous said...

Yes I think bigger women should where tights as pants fuck what Harvard says fuck all the complaining about how there not real pants.they are

Anonymous said...

They should not have to hide their bodies from some insecure men and women who are to busy saying how wrong someone else looks in tights instead of focusing on what they wear and how they wear it.yes tights are pants and she and all other fantastic thick women need to stop worrying and flaunt those tights.