Friday, May 31, 2013

I, Angel, being of sound mind

Oh God, oh God, oh God, I'm a dead woman.
Dead Angel, walking!
Crap, how the fuck do I get talked into these things.
Wirecutter, please, please, make it quick
and don't mess up my face....
 
Retrieved from a government drone
deployed over Central California....


 
 
Oh, God, wirecutter, I'm so sorry....
I'm going to go curl up in the corner and wait...


75 comments:

Odysseus said...

We might be able to hide you at an undisclosed location is Missouri, his California acclimation won't be able to tolerate what we call "weather" here long enough for him to make an exhaustive search.

hiswiserangel said...

Bless you, Odysseus, I'm packing my guns and some other shit, oh hell....

WiscoDave said...

A thing of beauty angel!
You amaze me with what you find!
You are welcome here in WI too.

WiscoDave said...

You don't think he'll find out that I may have been a little involved, do you?

hiswiserangel said...

Well, duh, Wisco. He knows I'm not smart enough to have carried this out alone.

giamby said...

Classic.

Phil said...

Ohhh Lordy.

It's been nice knowing ya.

Can I have your stuff?

LMAO!!

catfish said...

Have Wiscodave Hide you out at the Cedar Swamps up north in our state. WC will never find you there! But just in case what kind of flowers should we send? LMAO

stevierayv said...

I would head for palo duro he'd have a hard time finding you in there.There's water and game you could hole up there pretty good.It worked for the Indians for awhile.But if he's determined he'll eventually get ya.Sadly I think you are destined to go the way of all the southern plains tribes.

Craig M. said...

Try claymores around the perimeter.

Bryn, Isle of Anglesey said...

Sanctuary offered over here in Wales (UK, not AK) if mainland US is now somewhat risky for you..... The Mrs & I nearly choked on our tea watching that.
I notice WC is making you wait... & wait... for his reaction..!

Angel eyes said...

I'm getting front row seats for this show!

hiswiserangel said...

stevierayv, I grew up in Palo Duro Canyon. One of my best buds' dad was the Park Ranger there. Unfortunately, wirecutter knows the Canyon, too.

Claymores, check.

Bryn, bless you, but I doubt I could pass customs with what's in my pack.

rpm, you may proceed to bite my lily white ass.

WiscoDave said...

It was actually Miss Lisa's idea in a round about sort of way. Catfish - may need some suggestions as to hidey holes...

WiscoDave said...

Great, on the lam with a woman that has teeth marks on her ass. No one would notice that...

hiswiserangel said...

It's not like I walk around with my ass hanging out, Wisco.

Okay, he usually updates his blog around 7:30 CST, so I have a little over 2 hours...

MissK said...

Honey, you're always welcome to Canada... he could never find you all the way up here. LMFAO!! you did good... ;-)
You too Wisco... hehe (you wont go down alone Angel)

Always had a feeling Wirecutter liked to shake it... ;-)

Anonymous said...

Well, he did tell you to get your own blog didn't he?
You were just following orders, ya?
LMAO

Terry
Fla.

DiscoWave said...

falsetto: Angel dear, surely some mean,evil, hating IRS agent hacked your blog and posted that! I'm sure that nice WiscoDave was hard at work and surely had no time for such frivolity!!

Ken aka fht451 said...

Today I really needed a laugh. Thank you.

catfish said...

I'd hide her here Wisco.
Clifford F. Messinger Bass Lake Preserve. As it states, no trails.
The preserve isn't big, but if you download the PDF map you see it's surrounded by nothing but wilderness.
http://www.nature.org/ourinitiatives/regions/northamerica/unitedstates/wisconsin/explore/preserve-descriptions-for-deer-hunting.xml
Then there is the Turtle Flambeau Flowage or the Chippewa Flowage.
Or you could get real sneaky and hide her in WC's backyard. I'd suggest the Marble Mountain Primitive Area in CA.234,957 acres. I used to camp there in my 20's. Hope this helps!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marble_Mountain_Wilderness
I think a paintball challenge is the only way to settle this thing!

hiswiserangel said...

Does anyone else see the flaw in catfish posting the exact coordinates of where I'm supposed to be hiding in a comment wirecutter can read? Anyone? Bueller?

WiscoDave said...

Don't worry. He's using big words...

hiswiserangel said...

Wisco, honey, put the damn shovel down, you've dug the hole deep enough.

taminator013 said...

Why the hell would she have to hide? Wirecutter should be happy with the improvement over his natural looks. It's kind of like the airbrushing that they do with Playboy centerfolds...........

WiscoDave said...

But, but there's dirt left...

Anonymous said...

The cities of the east coast are probably the safest places to hide, at least from Wirecutter. Personally I'd rather face him than live there. If you need to get to Canada, I've got a fair chunk of the Montana route covered for you.

Kyle Miller

hiswiserangel said...

Kyle, I would rather embrace the insanity that is wirecutter than set one foot in Canada. GRRRRRRR. No offense, MissK.

Anonymous said...

If y'all can tolerate drunkin biker musicians and Dave's Insanity hot sauce we'll hide ya in Ky. ---Ray

WiscoDave said...

Ray - book me a room!

MissK said...

Forgot about your earlier troubles Angel... my bad, I take it back.

catfish said...

Hands WiscoDave another empty sandbag! LMAO

Angel eyes said...

Real Texans don't run. You can whip him.
Oh, and nibble, nibble.

wirecutter said...

I'm not saying a fucking word because I'm too busy packing my road bag.
It's going to be a short trip, I know where both of you fuckers live.

hiswiserangel said...

*sigh*

I'll get the bacon thawing. You should be here in 25 hours or so.
Maybe less if you're really pissed...

Angel eyes said...

Who's both?

hiswiserangel said...

WiscoDave, the evil mastermind. I'm just the conduit.

Sorry we didn't get our date, rpm. I was really looking forward to a road trip.

Miss Lisa said...

Drumroll Please.....and now for your viewing pleasure.....it's on Facebook!!! Gonna be a good time in the ole town tonight! : P

hiswiserangel said...

Miss Lisa, parlay? Please?

Angel eyes said...

I live only 60 miles from the guy. I'm gonna load the .357 and put some ribs on the BBQ and wait it out.

You ain't dead or maimed yet.:)






wirecutter said...

You got 4 days because I gotta starve my wolf for at least 3. I want him to be hungry when we get there.

Fucking great. I was just informed by Miss Lisa that it is now on Facebook.

hiswiserangel said...

And wirecutter goes viral....

I've got more hits on this than any single babe post. I really don't know what that says about our friends...

Angel eyes said...

Giddyup! Angel you have a way.

Loves from rural California, for now.

hiswiserangel said...

Yee-haw, rpm! WiserAngel lives to ride another day! You'd better eat your Wheaties, boy...

stevierayv said...

Angel hit 287 when you get to Decatur email me WC doesn't know me I can help

WiscoDave said...

What about the wretch hiding under the empty sand bags...? (Actually more of a sniper hide)

Peter said...

I can hide you for a few days here in Resume Speed, Texas. Then y'all can go on to the next hideout. If you keep going from hideout to hideout, randomly, you might last long enough to last out the Obama regime.

catfish said...

Wisco, There's an almost empty Sorority House down the road you can hide out in! Just bring lot's of beer! lol

Sienn said...

Here in MS is always a option for ya'll!

Angel eyes said...

I'm tipping it to 50. Luv ya girlfriend. Sleep well.

Anonymous said...

Oh my freaking...Wow! Words just don't do that justice. You could hide here if y'all wanted to. Lots of mountains to get lost in.

-Concerned Mama

Anonymous said...

That there is funny

Riley

wirecutter said...

Bullshit. I will track her down.

hiswiserangel said...

To all of you offering sanctuary (said with a Hunchback accent), thank you, but I must decline.
As rpm, pointed out, I'm a Texan and we don't run.
Wirecutter, I will be here, waiting, bring it.
(By "it", I meant, you know, cookies or chocolates, ribs would be nice...)

stevierayv said...

Texans have run ask Sam Houston we run till we cant run no more then we fight and then we get the republic right that's the history right

Irish said...

What the hell? I try and take a little hiatus and all hell breaks loose!

Damn.... :)

( That is funny as hell!)

Crazy Amy said...

We have been hacked you haters. The FBI and CIA are investigating this hacking. We would never prance around with a Wirecutter. Meow meow.
Crazy Amy baking away in Arizona

sig94 said...

Wirecutter, I gotta admit it, you look absolutely smashing in those tight whites.

hiswiserangel said...

Oh hell, Irish, I'm sorry I disturbed your vacation. Never mind all this nonsense.

No, seriously, never mind it. The sooner it goes away, the sooner wc will forget. You know how the elderly are.

wirecutter said...

Yeah, this elderly Wirecutter seems to have forgotten where he put his detcord and blasting caps.

hiswiserangel said...

shhhhh...
be vewy vewy quiet,
wirecutter's hunting wascally wedheads...

Miss Lisa said...

Great post...I just laugh and laugh and laugh.....am going to get him some white spandex fo sho tho!!!

hiswiserangel said...

Miss Lisa, you also need to get him a bacon strip "privacy shield".

wirecutter said...

You realize that you're only making it worse, right?

Hold on, I think Miss Lisa escaped from the garage again.

hiswiserangel said...

Run, Miss Lisa! Be Free! He can't contain us both!

wirecutter said...

Handcuffs - where the fuck did I put those?

hiswiserangel said...

It's okay, wc. You can borrow a pair of mine. They're fur-lined, but they still work.

Whiskey Tango said...

Very nice. Given that he's from California and all, it appears the 'modesty block' is somewhere between 50x and 100x too large, but otherwise appears very realistic.

;-)

BC said...

Hey don't forget to go over to im41.com and vote for me in the 'Coolest SOB In The Conservative Blogophere' contest..

Vote for me because she will be dead, and as you can see Wirecutter is quarrr!

Leigh said...

This is exactly why I need better internet where I live. When I heard there was a giant shit storm blowing across the Mid-West, I thought it was tornadoes again! More like day time TV:

HWA - "Mmm, hmmm, I do what I want!"

Dave - "I love her."

RPM - "NO, I LOVE HER!"

SRV -(running out of the crowd with a folding chair) "Back off, I seened 'er first!"

Then from back stage:
WC - "I'LL KILL 'EM ALL!"

Irish yells from the back of the room - "What the hell is wrong with you people?!"

....and the whole time the crowd is chanting: Jery, Jerry, Jerry......

And y'all say that us yankees have issues?


Leigh
Whitehall

Angel eyes said...

I'm not really sure what I just read except for the fact that it was fucking hilarious!

hiswiserangel said...

rpm darlin', please don't encourage Leigh. ~sigh~ This is getting out of hand, and I'm still ducking wirecutter...

Angel eyes said...

Hi, Angel.
Leigh sounds like a fine upstanding patriot to me.
I vote that we push this thread to 100 comments.
Who's in?

hiswiserangel said...

Notice wc hasn't commented since I offered to let him use my handcuffs? Heh heh heh

Angel eyes said...

Isn't he on a road trip? I do like the Aussie term "Walkabout". I try to do that every Sunday morning with my pooch. There's a lot of territory to explore in this beautiful state. It's unfortunate and ironic that it's run by liberals who for the most part have never left their offices in their entire lives.